February 04, 2005

How old is Grandma?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end -- it will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your Grandfather and I got married first-and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'- and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir.' We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.In my day, "grass" was mowed, "coke" was a cold drink, "pot" was something your mother cooked in, and "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby."Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office," chip" meant a piece of wood, "hardware" was found in a hardware store, and "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.....and how old do you think I am ???.....

I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock! Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.


This Woman would be only 58 years old!






Posted by Delftsman3 at February 4, 2005 02:39 AM
Comments

All this happened because conservatives went along to get along, it's nice to see some backbone being developed in that area. One of the reasons is running loose in Colorado,namely Ward Churchill, while the regents there are trying to decide what to do with him, it's simple, just fire the anarchist, if the school goes under, that's great too, it'll be one less cesspool of anarchy.

Posted by: Jack at February 4, 2005 03:38 PM

Um, sorry, she'd be a lot older. Check out air conditioning and television. TV was invented in the twenties, I think, and was in limited use before WW2. I think air conditioning predated that. It wasn't in many homes, but many movie theaters had it. Then there's frozen food. Clarence Birdseye developed the process in the twenties and sold the process patents in 1929. Frozen food became publicly available in 1930. Link

Radar was developed in the late thirties and was used in WW2.

I'm 56 and the rest of it is pretty much true. God help us, what have we done?

Posted by: StinKerr at February 6, 2005 06:59 AM

Though only eight years younger then the "grandmother in question", I think your music reference would be a bit off as well. If she had been a teen or a young adult back 58 years ago, yes Dorsey would still have been heard on the radio. But by the late 40's early to mid 50's TV was making inroads into middle and upperclass america. And by the time she would have been really old enough to remember same, the radio shows of old would have been dying off...and the beginnings of rock and roll starting to make it to the top 40 stations of the day. Her husband to be would have been sweating the draft and may have spent at least part of his young adult years in the service perhaps even Viet Nam. (would have been 18 in '65). Most of the rest holds true...though by the late sixties (when she would have been in her early to mid twenties...gas was near 20 cents a gal. and a good car would have been closer to 2000 dollars.

I think if you added 20 years to grandma's
age you would be right on the mark with the prices and the rest. But over all the tone is right....things have markedly changed in the last 50 years....not all of them for the best. Have we lost more then we gained? That would be a good question ineed.

Posted by: Guy S at February 10, 2005 02:21 AM

Spam comment deleted by the Management

DON'T come 'round here no More!

Posted by: refinancing at February 15, 2005 10:38 AM

How Old Is Grandma - Corrected
I have read several variations of "How Old is Grandma?" including “Getting Older?” and “How Old is Granny?” In different versions the date of birth changes but the age remains about the same, somewhere between 58 and 65. In the most recent posts, the year of birth is pegged somewhere from 1940 to 1946.
I knew some of the examples were wrong - like television, radar and penicillin. Finally, I took a few minutes to check out the facts and found that Grandma was getting feeble minded or was lying about her age. In any case Grandma did not believe in fact checking.

I am not a historian, the corrections I note were found on the Internet in short order using the Google search engine. I am sure a true student of history can establish better details.

Some of the dates I found surprised me, being much older than I had presumed, some even going back well before the turn of the 20th century. Some inventions like FM radio, television and air conditioning were in use before the Second World War, but they were not in widespread use. This may have lent some confusion to the writer, or contributors of the posts.

I suspect "How old is Grandma" has seen several adaptations over the years. I have read versions that make no reference to shootings at schools. It is possible individuals with good intentions, but very little sense of history, are bringing it up to date from time to time. I say this because many of the events, inventions or discoveries mentioned by Grandma occurred in the 1920s or 30s, making her born before those times. I don’t know when the original piece first appeared. Judging by the age always being given between 50 and 60, then the original must have appeared in the 1960s or a little later. Throwing out the extreme dates, I believe Grandma is at least 75 years old, maybe as old as 90.
The following is a reply to “How old is Grandma?” also known as “Getting Older?” and “How Old is Granny?”

Subject: How old is Grandma...

How old is Grandma? Stay with this -- the answer is at the end -- it will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before television (1), penicillin (2), polio shots (A), frozen foods (3), Xerox (4), contact lenses (5), Frisbees (6) and the Pill (B).
There was no radar (7), credit cards (8), laser-beams (C) or ballpoint pens (9).
Man had not invented pantyhose (D), air conditioners (10), dishwashers (11), clothes dryers (12), and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air (E) and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your Grandfather and I got married first - and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother (13).

Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir' (F) - and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir.' This was before gay-rights (14), computer dating (G), dual careers (15), daycare centers (16), and group therapy (17).

The Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense governed our lives. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. (H)

Serving your country was a privilege (See 19 below) living in this country was a bigger privilege. (I)

We thought fast food (18) was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. (J)
Draft dodgers (19) were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing (K) meant time the family spent together in the evenings and we never heard of FM radios (20), tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters (21), yogurt (22), or guys wearing earrings. (L)

Long hair meant classical music. (M)

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. (23)

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' (N) on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' (O) referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee (24) were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

An Ice-cream cone, a phone call, a ride on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. (P) And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 (25) but who could afford one? Gas was 11 cents a gallon (26).

In my day, "grass" was mowed, "coke" (27) was a cold drink, "pot" (28) was something your mother cooked in, and "rock music" (Q) was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant a piece of wood (R), "hardware" was found in a hardware store, and "software" (S) wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a woman needed a husband to have a baby (29).

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you think I am???... I bet you have this old lady in mind... you are in for a shock! Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad (T) at the same time.

This Woman would be only 59 years old! (Wrong)

Born in 1946. (Wrong again.)

Please see the corrections below.

1. On January 23, 1926, John Logie Baird (of Scotland) gave the world's first public demonstration of an electronic- mechanical television apparatus. This type of television is not compatible with today's fully electronic television system. TV - First televised speech by Herbert Hoover, 1927. The Federal Radio Commission adopted broadcasting rules in 1929 that regulated television broadcasting. In July 1931, CBS launches its first regular schedule of television programming with George Gershwin and Kate Smith among the performers. But it's still a test. Only a handful of television sets are in existence. In November 1932, CBS practices television election coverage for the time when more Americans will have television sets to watch it on. In 1935 fully electronic television is introduced using Philo T. Farnsworth's scanning photo-ray concept. This black and white system is the basis of the standard U.S. system in use today. Germany began its first television broadcast services in 1936 using a slightly different system. In 1939, RCA unveils the first commercial television set. The 12-inch black-and-white set costs $625. The first televised sporting event is a baseball game between Princeton and Columbia. (Grandma needs to tune into the History Channel.)
2. In 1929, Alexander Fleming, a doctor and researcher at St. Mary's Hospital in London, England, published a paper on a chemical he called "penicillin", which he had isolated from a mold, Penicillium notatum. Penicillin was first used as a medicine in 1938. Production of penicillin was moved to the United States in 1941, to protect it from the bombs pounding England. (Grandma needs a shot of something to help her memory.)
3. In 1923, with an investment of $7 for an electric fan, buckets of brine, and cakes of ice, Clarence Birdseye invented and later perfected a system of packing fresh food into waxed cardboard boxes and flash freezing under high pressure. The Goldman-Sachs Trading Corporation and the Postum Company (later the General Foods Corporation) bought Clarence Birdseye's patents and trademarks in 1929 for $22 million. The first quick-frozen vegetables, fruits, sea-foods, and meat were sold to the public for the first time in 1930 in Springfield, Massachusetts, under the trade name Birds Eye Frosted Foods®. (Zero so far for Granny)
4. In 1938 Chester Carlson produces first xerographic image in his lab in Astoria, Queens. Automatic Xerox machines were not commercially available until the 1950s. (Copy this down as Grandma being technically incorrect.)
5. Leonardo da Vinci sketches and describes several forms of contact lenses in 1508 In 1877 Glassblower F.E. Muller of Wiesbaden, Germany, developed and produced the first glass eye covering. This was the first hard contact lens in history. In 1929 Joseph Dallos, a Hungarian physician, developed methods of taking molds from living human eyes so that glass lenses could be made to conform more closely to individual sclera. Seven years later, in 1936, William Feinbloom, a New York optometrist, introduced the use of plastic for contacts. (A very short sited observation on Grandma's part. Focus Granny, focus.)
6. In 1920 Yale and Harvard students throw Frisbie pie tins and lids to one another. Charles O. Gregory recalls, "I clearly remember the cookies; and I also recall that the cover of the tin box was used by the older kids just the same way that Frisbees are now used... When I went to college -Yale I saw students using these same tin box lids as people now use Frisbees"
In 1948, Fred Morrison produced the first plastic plying discs. In 1955 the Wham-O Company teamed up with Morrison and on Jan 13, 1957 the first Wham-O Pluto Platters flew off the production line. In 1958 the Frisbie pie factory shut down and Fred Morrison was awarded the "flying disc" patent. On May 26, 1959, in a bid by Wham-O to cash in on a catchy name for its disc products, registered Frisbee as a trademark name. Wham-O being unaware of the significance or the historical aspects of the name miss-spelt it as Frisbee! (A toss up whether Grandma was right or wrong. She was, according to her own accounting, not born in 1920, an infant in 1948 and a young girl in 1955.)
7. Sir Robert Alexander Watson was the Scottish physicist who developed the first use of radar for locating aircraft - in England. Radar was patented (British patent) in April 1935. (Grandma was off the screen with this one.)
8. In the 1920s, a shopper's plate - a "buy now, pay later" system was introduced in the USA. They could only be used in the shops that issued them. They were in common use in upscale stores in major cities.(Charge up another one Granny.)
9. The first man to actually develop and launch a ballpoint pen was the Hungarian László Jozsef Bíró (1899-1985) from Budapest, who in 1938 invented a ballpoint pen with a pressurized ink cartridge. He is considered the inventor of today's ballpoint pen. The basic design of a pressurized ink cartridge is the same used by today's astronauts.

In 1943 Bíró obtained a new patent in Argentina and became the country's leading producer of ballpoint pens. The British government bought the patent as the pen's functioning was not affected by high altitude air pressure and would thus be of use to navigators in airplanes. In 1944, a pen under the brand name Biro was produced for the Royal Air Force. Bíró died in Argentina in 1985. (Grandma needs a blotter for this mistake.)
10. Swamp coolers or water evaporation coolers were first introduced in 1902. The first theater using a swamp cooler was in Montgomery, ALA in 1917. The US House of Representatives in 1928 and the Senate chamber in 1929 used swamp coolers. The first window air conditioner using a compressor was first demonstrated in1918. Frigidaire manufactured the first commercially successful modern individual room cooler in 1929. On Nov. 15 1937, Congress gets modern air-conditioning. The first air-conditioned automobile, a Packard, was engineered in 1938. (Chill out Granny.)
11. Hand operated dishwashers go back to 1850. The first practical mechanical dishwasher was invented by Josephine Cochran in 1886. Dishwashing becomes more stable in 1920 when the first freestanding electric dishwasher with permanent plumbing is introduced. In 1932 an electric washer cost $47.95. (Scrub up another incorrect statement by Grandma)
12. Clothes dryers were first developed in England and France in the early 1800s. They were barrel-shaped metal drums with holes, and turned by hand over fires. The first American patent for clothes dryer was granted in 1892. Electric clothes dryers appeared in 1915. (Oh, just dry-up Granny.)
13. In 1946, the United States divorce rate was at an all time high, not equaled until the 1970s. Under a Federal Act, spouses were not allowed to divorce G.I.s that were overseas during WWII without their consent. This resulted in a skyrocketing divorce rate when the G.I.s returned home. (Grandma, where is grandpa?)
14. In 1924 The Society for Human Rights, the first formal U.S. gay organization is founded in Chicago. (Get your facts straight Granny.)
15. The Knights of Labor was formed in 1878. By 1886, when the Knights were at their peak, about 50,000 were women, around ten percent of the total. (Weren’t you once a “Working Woman” Grandma?)
16. Since 1944, the School District of Philadelphia has provided quality, affordable day care. Philadelphia is proud to have the oldest day-care program affiliated with a school system in the country. (Grandma, were your children latchkey kids?).
15-16. Many defense plants provided day-care for their workers during WWII. (Somebody had to watch the kids when "Rosie the Riveter" went to work, eh Granny.)
17. J. H. Pratt devised the technique of formally organized group therapy in 1905. Pratt was holding general-care instruction classes for recently discharged tuberculosis patients when he noticed the impact of this experience on their emotional states. In 1925 psychoanalyst Trigant Burrow became dissatisfied with individual psychoanalysis, and began experimenting with group techniques. Burrow hoped to decrease the authoritarian position of the therapist, and to more thoroughly examine interpersonal interactions. The application of group therapy methods to prison inmates and discharged mental hospital patients was pioneered by Paul Schilder and Louis Wender in the 1930s. At that time group therapy was found to be particularly useful in the treatment of children and adolescents. The development of group therapy was given impetus during World War II, as a result of the large number of soldiers requiring treatment. (Don’t blame Grandma; what is said in-group stays in-group, she was just trying to keep secrets.)
18. Global Perspectives on Fast-Food History: Soft drinks and fast foods are both reflections of our American life-style as well as contributors to our growing pop culture. The wedding of soft drinks and fast food began with the rise of the first fast-food chain; and subsequently the complimentary relationship has flourished. While fast-food stands began to pop up during the 1920s, the 1950s first witnessed their rapid proliferation. (Eat your words Granny.)
19. U.S. Civil War: Eventually, each side turns to conscription as a means of keeping its armies in place after enlistment periods end.
North: In March 1863, the Northern Army begins its Civil War conscription when Congress gives President Lincoln the authority to require draft registration by all able-bodied men between the ages of twenty and forty-five, regardless of their marital status or profession. To avoid military service, however, substitute soldiers are permitted for a $300 fee; draft exemptions can be bought, proving the system to be unfair and unpopular. Many northern businessmen whose livelihoods benefit from southern slavery resist service and the Governor of New York, Horatio Seymour, himself declares the conscription act unconstitutional. On July 13, 1863, an angry mob sets off the four-day New York City Draft Riots In 1864, the Northern draft is amended to allow buyouts by conscientious objectors only.
South: The Confederacy passes their conscription law in April 1862. Three years of military service is required from all white men between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five, except for those legally exempted. Exemptions are numerous, leading to widespread non-compliance of the draft; substitutes are allowed at any set price. Poor morale and insufficient numbers of troops result. Later, the age limit for draftees is amended to include men between seventeen and fifty, and in 1865 the Confederate Army begins to conscript slaves.
The Federal Penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kansas was home to draft dodgers during WWII, while the military prison at Ft. Leavenworth was home to deserters. (Dodge that one Grandma.)
20. The first commercial FM station was W2XMN/WFMN/KE2XCC, Alpine, N. J. Regular programming began with full power on July 18, 1939, on 42.8 MHz, with 35,000 watts. The FM carrier was first turned on for testing on April 10, 1938, with 600 watts of power on a frequency of 43.7 MHz. By the end of 1940 there were more than 20 FM stations in operation in the U.S. (Tune in Grandma.)
21. The first electric typewriter, utilizing a type-wheel print head, was introduced in 1902. (Grandma missed a stroke.)
22. The origin of Yogurt: It is thought that yogurt was first found as early as 2000 BC in Mid Eastern civilizations as a way to preserve milk. Yogurt has been in continuous production in the U.S. since 1776. (Get some culture Grandma.)
23. Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. reports over 20,000 suicides in 1934. In 1934 the music of Artie Shaw, Glenn Miller, Count Basie, Jimmy Dorsey, Tommy Dorsey, Duke Ellington, Billie Holiday (died of an over dose,) Bing Crosby and Ella Fitzgerald is all the rage.

Two of Bing Crosby’s sons, Dennis and Lindsay Crosby committed suicide by shotgun.

Even Tommy Dorsey’s death is surrounded by some question. Tommy Dorsey died at age 51 on 26 November 1956. Tommy Dorsey choked to death in his sleep. He had had a big dinner and was accustomed to using pills to help him sleep, a possible suicide or at least a drug over dose.

By the time someone born in middle 40s started to appreciate music at age 6-10, the big bands were no longer popular. So if Granny remembers Tommy Dorsey she must be much older than she is claiming. (What a shot in the head Granny!)
24. Instant Coffee: In 1901, Japanese American chemist Satori Kato of Chicago invented just-add-hot water "instant" coffee. In 1906, English chemist George Constant Washington invented the first mass-produced instant coffee. Washington was living in Guatemala and at the time when he observed dried coffee on his coffee carafe, after experimenting he created "Red E Coffee" - the brand name for his instant coffee first marketed in 1909. In 1938, Nescafe or freeze-dried coffee was introduced. (Give Grandma a jolt of java, she needs to wake up.)
25. What Things Cost in 1944:
Car: $1,220
Gasoline: 21 cents/gal
House: $8,600
Bread: 9 cents/loaf
Milk: 62 cents/gal
Postage Stamp: 3 cents
Stock Market: 152
Average Annual Salary: $2,600
Minimum Wage: 30 cents per hour
26. What Things Cost in 1936:
Car: $600 (1936 was the year of the $600 new car.
Gasoline: 19 cents/gal (11cents/gal gas was about 1915.)
House: $6,200
Bread: 8 cents/loaf
Milk: 48 cents/gal
Postage Stamp: 3 cents
Stock Market: 180
Average Annual Salary: $1,600
27. 1844: Cocaine is isolated in its pure form. Known cocaine users: Jules Verne, John Lewis Stevenson-1880s, Sigmund Freud-1900, Tallulah Bankhead-1931, and Louis Armstrong-1935. (Grandma's mistake is nothing to sniff about.)
28. 1920s: Marijuana or Pot--"the addict loses all sense of moral responsibility. Addicts to this drug, (marijuana) while under it's influence, are immune to pain. While in this condition they become raving maniacs and are liable to kill or indulge in any forms of violence to other persons using the most savage methods of cruelty without, as I said before, any sense of moral responsibility." From a speech by August Vollmer, City Marshall, Berkley CA. Vollmer is credited as the father of modern policing in the US.

"The debate surrounding this drug has, in North America, surrounded by histrionics," said one retired Mountie. "Just look at Reefer Madness," he said, referring to the 1936 movie that painted marijuana as the devils secret weapon. "We've always gone after it as if it's the original killer weed. "...Persons using this narcotic smoke the dry leaves...driving them completely insane. (Granny is all hopped-up.)
27-28. The terms pot and coke referring to marijuana and cocaine have a history in American lexicon going back to before 1944. (So Grandma, drop in, turn on and tune out.)
29. 'Overfed, overpaid, oversexed and over here' (1943 - 1944)
The British government determined that American and Canadian servicemen monopolized the local girls with smart uniforms, film-star glamour, deodorants, big talk, nylons and cigarettes. And the girls were 'as loose as a goose'. This caused a huge prostitution trade, especially in London. Illegitimate babies shot up from 5.5 per 1 000 births to 16.1. (Sex and morals in 1944-Who's your daddy, Granny?)
A. It is true that polio shots did not come along until Dr. Jonas Salk developed a vaccine against the disease in 1955. But, Grandma, given her reported date of birth, was still a child that year. Vaccinations go well back in history. An inoculation method called variolation—applying live smallpox to the skin to induce immunity was introduced in England in 1719. English physician Edward Jenner noted that milkmaids who got cowpox did not get smallpox. In 1798, he published experimental data that led to the use of his cowpox vaccine for smallpox in 1812. Louis Pasteur developed a vaccination for anthrax in 1881, rabies in 1885 and diphtheria in 1894. In the U.S., routine diphtheria vaccinations began in the early1900s, smallpox in 1921, tetanus in 1927 and pertussis in 1948. A yellow-fever vaccination was developed for the U.S. Army in 1927. So Grandma was well aware of getting vaccinated as a child.
B. The desire to control female reproduction is not a 20th century phenomenon. Women first began taking substances by mouth to prevent pregnancy as far back as 4,000 years ago, when Chinese women drank mercury—now known to be toxic—to achieve contraception. In the centuries that followed, the Greeks consumed diluted copper ore, the Italians sipped a tea of willow leaves with mule's hoof, the Africans drank gunpowder and camel foam, and Canadian Indians ingested alcohol brewed with dried beaver testicles. (I wonder what Granny was swallowing.)

Modern contraception began in 1937, when investigators demonstrated that the female hormone progesterone could halt ovulation in rabbits. Subsequent research replicated this phenomenon—that is, if no egg is released from the ovary, then fertilization and pregnancy cannot occur—in other species.

While this advance was significant, several hurdles remained. Specifically, synthesizing progesterone in the laboratory was both difficult and expensive. Furthermore, natural progesterone could not be given orally because it is destroyed in the digestive system when ingested in its natural form.

In the years that followed, American chemist Russell Marker succeeded in producing progesterone from the roots of wild Mexican yams. Subsequently, in 1949, scientists at the University of Pennsylvania achieved the production of synthetic progestin.

Estrogen, the other hormone that may contribute to pregnancy prevention, works in conjunction with progestin to suppress ovulation, and prevent fertilization and implantation. Continued research led to the development of two synthetic estrogens—mestranol and ethinyl estradiol, both of which can be taken orally.

Large-scale testing of the Pill during the mid-1950s was successful. In 1960, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first oral contraceptives for marketing in the U.S. Ortho Pharmaceutical introduced its first birth control pill in 1963. By 1965, the Pill became the nation's leading method of reversible contraception.
C. The invention of the laser, which stands for light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation, can be dated to 1958 with the publication of the scientific paper, Infrared and Optical Masers, by Arthur L. Schawlow, then a Bell Labs researcher, and Charles H. Townes, a consultant to Bell Labs. The work of Schawlow and Townes, however, can be traced back to the 1940s and early 50s. Although, the concept of a coherent beam used as a weapon goes back into the 1920s and 30s. Anyone that has seen old Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, Ray ‘Crash’ Corrigan or Gene Autry Radio Ranch serials will remember “Death Rays” that emitted a solid beam of light capable of melting metal and stone.
D. On October 27, 1938, Charles Stine, vice president of E. I. du Pont de Nemours, Inc., announced and demonstrated world's first nylon stockings to three thousand women's club members gathered at the site of the 1939 New York World's Fair. Allen Gant Senior invented pantyhose in 1959. If Grandma was born when she said she was, then Grandma was somewhere between 12 and 14 when pantyhose first came out, just in time for her fist pair of “date protectors.”
E. New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Birmingham and a number of other large US cities have not had fresh air in the last 60 years. So Grandma must be from a rural area.
F. Advances in Civil Rights and Human Dignity: Through out this country, well into the 50s, it was not uncommon for white adults and children to refer to adult black men as “boys” or to call them by their first names. Few whites said “Sir” or “Madam” when addressing a black person, or used the terms Mr., Mrs. or Miss. This was a shameful and deplorable practice not only in the South but also in Northern cities where black workers had displaced whites in lower paying shop and union jobs. The practice did not greatly change until the advent of the Civil Rights movement.
G. Over one hundred years have passed since Herman Hollerith invented the punch card (a computerized system) as a way of tabulating the 1890 census. That's also, almost exactly, the lifespan of the technology. Punch cards are almost completely gone from public view. With only a few exception, the last few businesses that still use punch cards are phasing them out, replacing punch card systems with computers, optical scanners, and magnetic storage media

Card punch technology became more widespread in the 1930s and 40s. Libraries began to use punch cards to keep track of books. Police departments used them to track criminals. Their use in payroll and factory management expanded. Businesses kept track of customers and inventory. Services became available to match persons to jobs and other similar relationships. Punch card matchmaking was in use in Europe as early as 1940 using Hollerith machines. IBM had developed a couple matching program for its punch card machines by 1957. (Dating services or professional matchmakers have been in existence for centuries. So please don’t fold, bend, spindle or mutilate the idea of computer dating before Granny was born.)

H. History is full of examples of wanton disregard of the principles of the Ten Commandments, common sense, good judgment, knowing the difference between right and wrong and taking responsibility for one’s actions.

Start with slavery and later the Dred Scott Decision, or the making and breaking of treaties with Native Americans. Follow that up the greed of buying stocks on the margin prior to the crash of 1929, and the corruption prevalent in most large and small city governments since colonial times. Why is our history full of reformist and crusaders? Because there was a need to reform and change a lot of wrong headed thinking.

Grandma must have lead a very sheltered life not being aware of what was going on around her.
I. There were many expatriates that fled the US after WWI. France, Italy and Spain each took turns in becoming the new Mecca for elitist members of the “intelligentsia” like F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Henry Miller, Richard Wright, Gertrude Stein, James Baldwin, Gregory Corso, William Burroughs Chester Himes and many others.

J. Charles Darwin, 1809-1882, married his first cousin Emma, that wasn't at all unusual in their prominent and successful family--their common grandparents were cousins too. Talk about meaningful relationships.

K. Time-share - NOUN:
1. Computer Science A technique permitting many users simultaneous access to a central computer through remote terminals. (Time sharing of computer resources began in 1957. John McCarthy began time sharing using the IBM704 at the M.I.T Computation Center.)
2. also time-share (-shâr ) Joint ownership or lease of vacation property by several people who take turns occupying the premises for fixed periods. (The development of time-share properties is recent. The idea started in Marseilles, France in 1965 but was quickly adopted in the United States. Although, the concept of trading homes for short periods, home-exchange or home-sharing, such as for vacations goes back to the late 19th century.

L. Sailors became convinced that piercing one ear would improve their long-distance site, and so the site of a sailor with a gold or brass ring became common. Word also spread that should a sailor be washed ashore after a shipwreck, the finder should keep the gold ring in exchange for providing a proper Christian burial. Sailors were both religious and superstitious, so they generally spent a lot for a large gold earring to hedge their bets. In the last hundred years or so, body piercing in the Western world has mostly been limited to the ears, a standard hold-over from the fact that both men and women have worn earrings since Elizabethan times. The Puritan movement did away with many men wearing earrings, and the fashion didn’t really regain popularity until the 1960s.

M. As used in the article, longhair has a comparison to long hair styles for men and classical music. Longhair is a common reference to classical music. It comes from the common image of famous composers and orchestra leaders of the 18th and 19th centuries when long hair styles for men were prevalent. Starting in the early teens of the 20th century, short hair for men became the standard in most of the western world. This continued until the late 60s when longer hair for men was once again accepted. This reference in the article helps only to define Grandma’s date of birth as somewhere between 1913 and 1964.

N. ‘Made in Japan.’ Many fine porcelains, ceramics and miniatures were produced in Japan before WWII. The best were kept for domestic use. Many of the export items were of high quality and were objet d’art and museum items.

Following the end of World War II in 1945 and until 1952, items imported from Japan to the United States had to be marked in a fashion indicating they came from Occupied Japan. Because of the ruined state of Japanese infrastructure following the war, many of these items were poorly made, or were mass produced. Some though were of high quality, but prevailing prejudice against all things Japanese dictated American thinking that anything made in Japan was junk. Ironically, Items marked ‘Occupied Japan’ or ‘Made in Occupied Japan’ have now become highly sought after collectors items.

O. Making-out, necking, cuddling, smooching, getting to 1st base – 2nd base – 3rd base, home run and feel-up or felt-up are common terms that go back many generations; and relate to heavy petting, embracing sexually and intercourse. All of which were done in horse drawn vehicles before the turn of the 20th century.

P. Pepsi was a nickel when it was introduced in 1898 in New Bern, North Carolina. It remained a nickel into the 50s, so Grandma’s reference to Pepsi does nothing to pinpoint her age. The same with the other nickel items, In the US, local calls on pay-phones were a nickel from the 1920s through the 50s.

Q. Rock Music has its origins in Blues and Rhythm n’ Blues songs from the 1930s and 40s. The terms rock and roll each were synonymous with sexual intercourse: as in “I’m going to rock you like your back ain’t got no bone”, and “We rolled and we tumbled all night long.”

Bill Haley had a string of songs in the early 50s that used the term Rock in the titles, including Rock the Joint, and Rock Around the Clock. Later he covered Joe Turner’s Shake Rattle and Roll.

In 1954 Etta James recorded Roll With Me Henry. The title was considered way too suggestive, so it was changed to Dance With Me Henry also known as The Wallflower. Dance With Me Henry was one of the first songs to link Rock and Roll together with the line “Dance With Me Henry, we’re going to rock while the music rolls on…”

R. The term “chip” has a couple of modern meanings. Is Grandma speaking about computer chips, potato chips or is she referring to a girlfriend on the side?

Potato Chips - The inventor was a cook named George Crum. Crum was part Indian, part black and a former guide in the Adirondacks. Crum invented potato chips in the summer of 1853 near Saratoga Springs, New York.

Chip, as in a girlfriend on the side, implying an illicit affair or a mistress. The term is modern coming into the English language before 1990. The concept has been around as long as women have.

Chip, as in computer chip. In November, 1971, a company called Intel publicly introduced the world's first single chip microprocessor, the Intel 4004 (U.S. Patent #3,821,715), invented by Intel engineers Federico Faggin, Ted Hoff, and Stan Mazor.

S. The earliest practical form of programming was probably done by Jaquard (1804, France). He designed a loom that performed predefined tasks through feeding punched cards into a reading contraption. Then there was Ada Lovelace, writing a rudimentary program (1843) for the Analytical Machine, designed by Charles Babbage in 1827. These examples may not represent modern software on a magnetic disc but they were software programs of their times. See F. referencing Hollerith computing systems in 1890.

T. It is sad indeed that people accept articles like How old is Grandma without checking a few facts. How Old Is Grandma, in one version or another, is on hundreds of web pages and circulates endlessly in e-mails. Perhaps, just as sad, is the fact I am so obsessive-compulsive that I felt obliged to compile this retort to Grandma.


Posted by: Robert S at May 31, 2005 03:01 AM
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