February 05, 2005
British Hospitality
An American tourist in London decides to skip his
tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around,
seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a
pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class
area...big, stately residences... no pubs, no shops, no
restaurants, and worst of all.... no public toilets. He really,
really has to go, after all those pints of Guinness. He finds a narrow side
street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and
decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by
a London Bobbie, who says, "I say, sir, you simply
cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American,
"but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find
a public toilet."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie, "Just follow me".
He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along
a wall to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away, sir,
anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most
beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary,
fountains,sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous
flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the cop's blessing, he
unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the
Bobbie"That was really decent of you. Is that what you
call "British Hospitality?"
"No, sir," replied the Bobbie, "that is what we call
the French Embassy."