March 24, 2005

Real World definitions

How about some humorous definitions to bring a smile to your lips?

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end and a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his
bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes
of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through
"the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to
be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a
way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower
says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter
in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that
he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such

Hat tip to Mamamontezz, thanks for cheering me up Honey!

Posted by Delftsman3 at March 24, 2005 05:16 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?