April 21, 2005
Aircraft Humor
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6
miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint!
We havedigital watches!"
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45
Degrees." "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much
noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever
heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long
takeoff queue: "I'm f..ing bored!" Ground Traffic
Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify
yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I
was f... ing bored, not f... ing stupid!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy,
your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,
Eastbound." United 239: "Approach, I've always
<> wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country
flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on
radar, ATC asked! , "What was your last known
position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for
a priority landing because his single-engine jet
fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic
Control told the fighter jock that he was number
two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven
engine approach."