May 31, 2005

Police Humor

After getting all of Billy Graham's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Mr. Graham is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Mr. Graham," says the driver, "would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says Mr. Graham, "they never let me drive
anymore, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?," protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," s! ays Mr. Graham.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the bac! k as Billy Graham climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, Mr. Graham floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, sir!!!" pleads the worried driver, but Billy keeps the
pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, man, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

Billy pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the
cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on
the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

Then the Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: " He's got Billy Graham for a limo driver!"

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture .....of handcuffs

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

Posted by Delftsman3 at May 31, 2005 09:59 PM
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