June 05, 2005

Flight Humor

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in

Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."


One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206 Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."


An F-15 pulled up alongside a C-141 up in the flight levels and managed to contact the cargo plane on the radio. After chatting a while, the fighter pilot said, "Hey, watch this!", and proceeded to do a barrel roll around the C-141.

The C-141 pilot was duly impressed, and called back, "That's nothing. Watch this..."

After two minutes of stright and level flight, the fighter pilot couldn't stand it, and said, "OK, what did you do?".

The C-141 pilot said, "I just got up, walked back to the restroom and took a piss, stretched my legs for a while, then got a cup of coffee."

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference:

If it is an American Airlines flight, its 3PM.
If it is Air Force, its 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, its 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, Mickey's big hand is on the 12 and Mickey's little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, its Thursday afternoon."


I have a friend that used to fly out of PDK near Atlanta in the "olden days".

He knew the tower contoller personally, and one night he called him up on approach and said, "Charlie, this is N_____. Clear the field, I'm coming in on one engine."

On final approach, the tower said, "Damn you Clarence, you've only got one engine!".


Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact

Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."


Posted by Delftsman3 at June 5, 2005 08:02 PM

free piss desperate to pee pee wees playhouse women pissing cowgirl pee watersports stories girls pee pissing pussy pissing pictures public pissing panty pee cowgirl pee desperate to pee panty pissing by lumito pissing movies pissing lesbians pipers pee party watersport pissing pussy pipers pee party

Posted by: piss drinkers at October 22, 2005 01:49 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?