October 08, 2005

26 Truisms

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaking tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be

5. Always remember you're unique..... Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.

8.. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.

16 A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our
butt...Then things get worse.

23. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night

24. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too

25. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday ...around age 11.

26. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


Posted by Delftsman3 at October 8, 2005 05:28 PM | TrackBack
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