After the southern tourist had been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y'all to give me uh piece of ass?"
"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.
Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why not? You're nice lookin' too and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to my room?"
When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure'preciate what y'all just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighbourly. But where ah come from in Georgia, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass for mah drink."
*****************************************************
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the of ferings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
*
*
*
*
This is done by the chip monks.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Didn't see it comin' did ya?!?!
H/T to Catfish