May 04, 2006

I'll never drink again...

After a night of drinking, Ron crept into bed
beside his wife Ann who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the
cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing
at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the
hell are you?" demanded Ron,"and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom. I'm St.

Ron was stunned, "You mean I'm dead! That can't be! I have so much
left to do. I haven't even had a chance to say goodbye to my family. You've
got to send me back right away."

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch--we can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Ron was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house
he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later and he was
covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad," replies Ron, "but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before."

"Never," replied Ron.

"Well just relax and let it happen."

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds an egg popped out.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he
laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he
knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever
happened to him!

The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,

"Ron, wake up you drunken bastard! You're shitting all over the bed."

H/T to Jack

Posted by Delftsman3 at May 4, 2006 01:37 AM | TrackBack
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