Delftsman

Irish Gas Station

Chrissie, AKA Wild Thing, sent me this one and I just HAD to put it up, after I stopped rolling on the floor:

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... " Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. " So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now? " inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."

The First Blond GUY Joke

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work
> on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
>
> They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
> cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch,
> I'm going to jump off this building."
>
> The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
> get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
>
> The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a
> bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
>
> The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
> cabbage, and jumped to his death.
>
> The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
>
> The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his
> death as well.
>
> At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping She said, "If I'd
> known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never
> would have given it to him again!"
>
> The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
> or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
>
> Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife
> said,
>
>
> "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch!"

My little Honey

I took these pics of my baby at dusk so that if I should ever be killed by a driver of a car who says "I never saw him in the dark"; you'll know he/she's a G-TDAMMED LIAR!

If I can find ever find my camera again, I'll try to get some good daylight pics up soon.

Top Ten....

Here's a "top Ten" list I can really "fweel":

Insanity Personified : Nancy Pelosi

This woman is frightening. whats even MORE frightening is that she is the leader of the majority party, and as such may have some chance of enacting her idiotic ideas in the body politic.

Let's take a good hard look at what she wants:

Nancy Pelosi condemned the new record highs of the stock market as "just another example of Bush policies helping the rich get richer".

Guess she never heard of "rising water raises all ships".

"First Bush cut taxes for the rich and the economy has rebounded with new record low unemployment rates", Which is EXACTLY the point; lower taxes raise revenues for EVERYONE; government included "which only means wealthy employers are getting even wealthier at the expense of the underpaid working class".

??? Did this daft cow REALLY SAY this?!? just HOW did she go from "the economy rebounded; with the lowest unemployment rates in 10 years" to "only the rich benefit from this good economic news?"

She went on to say "Despite the billions of dollars being spent in Iraq our economy is still strong and government tax revenues are at all time highs."

HOW the HADES does she come to the conclusion that because we're engaged in a war that our economy must be in a dire strait?! And by the way take special note of the fact that "government tax revenues are at all time highs "...cut taxes, stimulate the economy; tax revenues RISE or as I say, "Reganomics WORKS".

"What this really means is that business is exploiting the war effort and working Americans, just to put money in their own pockets".

Ah yes, the main Progressive meme of the evil HaliburtonBushCoMilitaryIndustrialComplex profiting off of the suffering of the Little Brown People(tm) and the Ignorant Minorities duped into becoming Soldiers,sailors,Marines, and airmen(tm). WONDERED how long it would take her to bring that tired meme up...

When questioned about recent stock market highs she responded "Only the rich benefit from these record highs."

Guess Ms Pelosi considers everyone that tries to save for retirement with a 401K or IRA "rich"!

"Working Americans, welfare recipients, the unemployed and minorities are not sharing in these obscene record highs".

"Working Americans"...lets see, they are employed so that these "evil" companies can actually,you know, provide a product,good, or service;and earn a paycheck, and in turn can invest some of those paychecks into mutual funds,IRA's, or 401K's...you know...that booming stock market Ms. Pelosi is saying doesn't help any but the super rich

"Welfare recipients" Hmmm, government revenues have risen with the economic boom; ergo there are more funds availible to try to assist the indigent...or does Ms Pelosi believe that Leprechans are paying the tab for the welfare rolls?

"Minorities"? IF, as the Progressives hold to be true, that minorities suffer the worst in our economic system, it's obvious that a good economy is, ipso facto, better for minorities than a poor one; economics 101, which Ms. Pelosi must have either flunked out in, or never taken so as to preserve her Progressive purity of illogical thought.

"There is no question these windfall profits and income created by the Bush administration need to be taxed at 100% rate and those dollars redistributed to the poor and working class".

100% tax rate, money redistributed to the general populace from those that earn it.....I've always KNOWN that the Progessive agenda was Socialism, but I have to admit, it's refreshing for one of the top leadership to come out and state it so openly.

"Profits from the stock market do not reward the hard work of our working class who, by their hard work, are responsible for generating these corporate profits that create stock market profits for the rich."

The workers profit by their labor to the extent that they, or their union, negotiate for. Labor is a commodity just like any other, and profit and loss is determined by ability and demand for the comodity. As I stated above, the workers are free to invest any portion of their economic rewards they desire and reap the benefits of a high stock market as well as any high roller does.

"We in congress will need to address this issue to either tax these profits or to control the stock market to prevent this unearned income to flow to the rich."

"unearned income"? Excuse me, but the way the market works, an investor risks available cash funds on the chance that he'll receive a return on his investment. Take away the incentive of profit by overtaxing or trying to control where the profits go to, and you collapse the market entirely.....I suppose that the "poor" and "minorities" won't mind not having any opportunity to raise themselves economically, it's the principle of the thing, after all, and after the market collapses, all those evil rich will be poor too, and everyone can share in the same level of misery together. Incidentally, Ms. Pelosi, government control of the means of production and the profits of that production has been tried before; let's ask the Soviet Union how that worked for them, OH, thats right, the USSR's economy collapsed to the point where the nation became economically unviable. Of couse, failure of any sort is meaningless to the sociallistically minded, they KNOW that they are RIGHT,dammit, regardless of bad outcomes.

When asked about the fact that over 80% of all Americans have investments in mutual funds, retirement funds, 401K's, and the stock market she replied "That may be true, but probably only 5% account for 90% of all these investment dollars."

80% OF THE GENERAL POPULACE ONLY ACCOUNT FOR 5% OF THE TOTAL INVESTMENT DOLLARS?!? I may be mistaken here, but those figures don't make much sense to me, there must be a lot more super-billionaires than I had thought for that to be true.

"That's just more "trickle down" economics claiming that if a corporation is successful that everyone from the CEO to the floor sweeper benefit from higher wages and job security which is ridiculous".

No, Ms Pelosi, that's real world economics. Corporations are operated to make a profit, not to be welfare distributors. I admit that there are inequities, but generally speaking, unless there are profits, there are NO wages for ANYONE, from the CEO on down to that floor sweeper that your so concerned about.
Incidentially, I seem to recall that you were having some labor problems not too long ago...seems that the workers at a vineyard/wine co. YOU own were
dissatisfied with their wages/working conditions and wanted to unionize to better themselves, yet you weren't so eager to help the "working class" (out of your own pocket/company profits) then, were you?

"How much of this 'trickle down' ever get(s) to the unemployed and minorities in our county? None, and that's the tragedy of these stock market highs."

Ms Pelosi? Please, PLEASE. Stop and try to get those two brain cells of yours firing before you speak in public again. "Unemployed" MEANS that you don't get benefits from a company or the stock market, except for how much those entities contribute to the government coffers from which the poor are succored. Higher profits mean bigger contributions to the public coffers, making more funds available for the "poor". Your own contentions/assertions prove to anyone that has more than a passing knowledge of economics, social interactions, and personall motivations that you are incapable of rational thought. If you are the best that your party/movement has to offer for leadership, I weep for the future of our country.

"We democrats socialists are going to address this issue after the election when we take control of the congress. We will return to the 60% to 80% tax rates on the rich and we will be able to take at least 30% of all current lower Federal Income Tax tax payers off the roles and increase government income substantially.

Return to 60-80% tax rates and watch the tax revenues dry up, you silly cow.

Those "30% of the lower level" of tax payers don't contribute much already, but with the loss of revenues by your confiscatory taxes, every penny will count, so I don't hold out much hope that you'll be able to drop anyone from the rolls, in fact you'll probably have take more from the "poorer" taxpayers.
In any case, your suggestions have been tried several times before, and in every case, resulted in bringing our economy to the brink of unrecoverable disaster. Whats the old saw?... something about the definition of insanity being repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different outcome?
By it's own actions and proposed actions, your party, and by virtue of your being a leader of said party, have proven themselves to be insane.

"We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest."

Very well said, Comrad Pelosi. We of the Proletrariat need to rise up and shake off the shackles of the Bourgeois!

Oh excuse me, I got caught up in the rhetoric of the polemic didactic of the socialistic movement, which Comrad Pelosi certainly seems to be a major proponent of. You might want to read our history Comrad. NOWHERE in the founding documents is there any mention of guaranteeing equality of outcome, just a guarantee of opportunity to succeed, or FAIL, according to our own individual talents and efforts.

When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied "We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities."

1) Under your proposals, there will be a reduction of government revenue.

2) We are each responsible for our own standard of living, NOT the government. I'm all for giving a helping hand up to those in need, but I'm not responsible for providing the poor/minorities/unemployed with every wish they may desire. They have to earn a higher standard of living just as all of the rest of us have.

3) The fact that that the Progressive movement, in the person of one of it's leaders in Comrad Pelosi, insinuates that minorities can't raise their standard of living without government assistance shows that they are perpertrators of the bigotry of low expectations. I would be most offended were I member of one of said minorities.

"For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal (emp mind -D)immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long ways to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as "Americans".

EXCUSE ME?!?! Comrad P., I don't believe that even the MOST socialistic country currently existing on Earth would feel responsible for the "standard of living" of criminals living off the opportunities existing in their country. In fact, in most Socialistic countries, such people would be fortunate if they weren't shot if discovered trying to enter the country, and imprisoned for long terms if discovered inside the country. "ILLEGAL" means just that, these people are breaking our laws just by being here and hence are criminals,NOT "Americans"; and in your proposal to succor them from the public treasury, you are abbetting a criminal act under color of authority, which makes you an accessory after the fact, and hence unfit to hold your position as a leader of the majority party. Somehow I don't think I'll hold my breath until you resign for these actions. Shame doesn't seem to affect politicians like it does those of us with a conscience in the general populace .

Update: Note:according to Snopes, Comrad Pelosi never made all these statements in one single speech, ergo consider this a satiric fisk of Idiotarianism in general.