How To Give A
Cat A Pill:
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore-finger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill In right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, Drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie
the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14.
Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the Emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15.
Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To
Give A Dog A Pill:
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
Thanks Cat!
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1. Using Bad Form and Technique
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Bad form and method often occurs when someone is using a weight that's too heavy to enable them to lift properly. Use the weight that challenges you, but that's not so heavy that the form and technique get sloppy. Use muscle energy, not momentum, to lift the weight. Don't heave, golf swing, or bounce the bodyweight. Lift and lower the weight in a steady and controlled manner while focusing on feeling the muscle that you're working (this is known as the mind-muscle connection).
3. Not Warming Up
You need to take the time to properly warm up before weight lifting. Warming up will stimulate blood circulation to your muscles, increase your joint flexibility and mobility, and get you mentally prepared for your workout, all of which aids in preventing injury. Warm up by doing a few minutes of light aerobic exercise and 1 or 2 light sets of each weight lifting exercise before using weightier weights.
3. Overtraining
Training too often saps your energy and interferes with both your muscle's and nervous system's capability to recuperate from your strength training workouts. If you're within a depleted, weakened Stepper state from overtraining, your risk associated with injury increases. You also have to realize that muscles avoid grow during training, these people grow after training. Weight lifting causes microscopic tears in the muscles, and rest days allow the muscles to repair on their own, grow, and get more powerful.
Training too often and never giving your muscles plenty of time to recover from training not just increases your risk of injury, it also causes muscle growth and strength increases in the future to a halt.
three. Not Listening to Your body
When lifting weights, you need to work out with a lot of intensity if you wish to build muscle and improve strength. But if your tired and lacking energy prior to a particular weight lifting workout, you may need to ease up on the intensity for that particular workout, or even consider no longer working out at all which day. Pushing yourself too hard when you're tired and also lacking energy increases your own risk of injury.
5. Lack of Concentration
In case you are distracted, preoccupied or lackadaisical when strength training, especially when performing free weight exercises like barbell squats or even dumbbell shoulder presses, you're inviting injury.
6. Poor Nutrition
Weight training and proper nutrition go together. Proper nutrition provides you using the energy you need for the weight training workouts. Without having proper nutrition, you'll maintain a depleted, weakened condition, and your risk of injury will increase. Proper nutrition is not just necessary to fuel your own workouts, it's also necessary to help you recover from your workouts.
As you can see, avoiding weight lifting injuries is not difficult. Just follow these guidelines and your weight training workouts will be productive and injury free.
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