March 14, 2010

A Little Humor


A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, 'How will I recognize him?'

'That's easy; he's a dwarf with a speech impediment.'

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

'A female horth.'

So he shows him a prized filly...

'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?'

So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?'

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

'Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?'

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?'

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf's head up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

'Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?'



My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value
you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you
will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening
with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be
upset----I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the
dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty
about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to
remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math
teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you
read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile,
and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you
will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small
difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.




When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a
new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.

So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.


I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today
for my annual checkup. She told me that I had
to quit masturbating.

I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine


I was walking down the road and
saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul
standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a
carpet. I shouted up to him,

"What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?"



A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house:
'Talking Dog For Sale '
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in
the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk,
he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says,
'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders,
because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of
medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.


I hope that maybe these jokes brought a smile to your face and a little joy into your heart. Have a great Sunday and try not to worry too much about Monday.

Posted by Delftsman3 at March 14, 2010 03:53 PM | TrackBack

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Posted by: Poker zasady at November 4, 2010 06:11 PM

I always wanted to be able to write on my blog something like that. I normally don’t publish comments in personal blogs however your own blog site made me to, fabulous work.…

Posted by: bad credit loans at November 8, 2010 07:10 AM

zwrot podatku odzyskaj należny Ci podatek

Posted by: zwrot podatku at November 10, 2010 06:23 AM

Heard about this website from my buddy. He pointed me right here and told me I’d find what I need. He was right! I got all the questions I had, answered. Didn’t even take lengthy to seek out it. Love the truth that you produced it so simple for people like me.

Posted by: Linsey Boothman at December 7, 2010 01:49 AM

A powerful share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a little bit evaluation on this. And he in actual fact bought me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love studying more on this topic. If doable, as you develop into expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more particulars? It is extremely useful for me. Massive thumb up for this blog publish!

Posted by: we hate niggers at September 19, 2011 02:03 PM

I used to read this site all the time, truly i like and i still do.

Posted by: we hate niggers at September 21, 2011 09:50 AM

Hey! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

Posted by: cruises out of baltimore at October 16, 2011 11:07 PM

It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd definitely donate to this excellent blog! I guess for now i'll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

Posted by: baltimore cruises at October 17, 2011 12:12 PM

Thanks for your insight for the great posting. I am glad I have taken the time to see this.

Posted by: lig celular at November 28, 2011 04:44 PM

How do they get all the funny sounds used in comedy movies?

Posted by: psp one at December 1, 2011 12:35 PM

thumbs up if u mostly watch pitbull vids for the girls . 

Posted by: Counter Strike at December 15, 2011 07:31 PM

Amazing, this is really funny. You improve your web page regularly? Cheers

Posted by: bad teacher jokes at January 11, 2012 01:35 AM

Excellent article and simple to implement explanation. How do I begin getting permission to post portion of the article in my upcoming news standard? Giving proper credit to you the author and chek out the site won't be a issue.

Posted by: torpedo sms gratis at January 15, 2012 12:43 PM

I would really like to say thank you such a lot of for the job you have made in writing this post. I am hoping the same most reliable job by you down the road also.

Posted by: Velma at January 19, 2012 02:39 PM

It was a pleasure looking through the details you provided. Thank you very much for taking the time to create the information site. I definitely will revisit very soon.

Posted by: baixar bingo at January 29, 2012 10:14 AM

Hiya. Very cool site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I'll bookmark your website and take the feeds also...I'm happy to find so much useful info right here within the article. Thank you for sharing.

Posted by: Suzanne Arai at February 6, 2012 06:47 PM

wut up do you have any other articles like this one? im doing a page for my school and I need a few links to insert on our campus website. Would it be ok if we point to this blog from the school blog for reference purposes?

Posted by: Tonya Gadlin at March 13, 2012 03:50 AM

Great post about this. I'm surprised to see someone so educated in the matter.

Posted by: preços toyota corolla at April 18, 2012 12:00 PM

This is a exceptional piece, I discovered your weblog browsing google to get a linked concept and arrived to this. I couldnt arrive across to a great deal supplementary information and facts on this piece, so it absolutely was satisfying to locate this just one. I will surely end up becoming back again to test out some other posts that you have one more time.

Posted by: castor oil for eyebrows at April 20, 2012 11:42 AM

Wow that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn't appear. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say excellent blog!

Posted by: car insurance companies in florida at April 26, 2012 07:55 AM

Hi! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the outstanding work!

Posted by: bijuterii peridot at April 27, 2012 10:45 AM

Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

Posted by: good car insurance for teenagers at April 29, 2012 07:54 AM

Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

Posted by: car insurance florida cheap at April 29, 2012 08:06 AM

Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about creating my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? Appreciate it

Posted by: bratari pentru barbati at April 29, 2012 01:46 PM

Howdy I am so happy I found your weblog, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I donít have time to read it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the great job.

Posted by: car insurance esurance customer service at April 30, 2012 03:21 PM

Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I'm trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Posted by: classic car insurance florida at May 2, 2012 03:29 AM

Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good success. If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

Posted by: free credit scores at May 2, 2012 12:56 PM

Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and will come back down the road. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great work, have a nice evening!

Posted by: annual free credit score at May 2, 2012 07:23 PM

Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I had written and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers? I'd certainly appreciate it.

Posted by: new car insurance estimator at May 3, 2012 04:39 AM

Does your site have a contact page? I'm having problems locating it but, I'd like to send you an email. I've got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

Posted by: classic car insurance nj at May 3, 2012 07:25 PM

Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!

Posted by: strong abdominal pain at May 4, 2012 01:03 PM

When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!

Posted by: eyesight exercises at May 7, 2012 07:51 PM

naturally like your web-site but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth then again I will certainly come back again.

Posted by: limo service at May 11, 2012 06:53 AM

Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, superb blog!

Posted by: fixing credit score at May 22, 2012 04:49 PM

Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to look it over. I'm definitely enjoying the information. I'm bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Outstanding blog and amazing style and design.

Posted by: orthodontists at May 23, 2012 01:30 PM

Hello are using Wordpress for your blog platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

Posted by: pandantiv barbati at June 1, 2012 04:05 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?