Delftsman

A Better Way

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what to do.

Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and
yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps,throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and
shout,WHO'S HORNY!?!" and she acts like she is asleep every time.