March 31, 2008
News as Shillery sees says imagines it
“Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who has been accused in recent days of padding her foreign policy rèsumè while First Lady, admitted today that she may have exaggerated about an encounter she said she had with al-Qaeda terror mastermind Osama bin Laden in 1998. In an appearance on NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’ on Sunday, Sen. Clinton told host Tim Russert, ‘I wrestled bin Laden in his cave in 1998 and had him pinned to the ground before the bastard got away.’ But a review of Sen. Clinton’s official White House schedule from that period revealed that the then-First Lady was nowhere in the vicinity of Mr. bin Laden on that day, but was instead greeting a group of honor roll students at Disney World in Orlando. ‘I may have misspoke about what went on that particular day,’ Sen. Clinton said today. ‘But it was a very busy time for me, what with having that knife-fight with Kim Jong-Il and all.’ Reporters peppered Sen. Clinton’s new press spokesman with questions about another purported exploit of hers, in which the senator claimed that she and a ragtag team of blue-collar drillers deflected an asteroid on a collision course with the Earth.” —Andy Borowitz
Quote(s) of the Day
“There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs—partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.” —Booker T. Washington
Hmmm...can YOU say Jackson,Sharpton,Wright,Farrakahn, and Obama? I know you can.
"...you cannot build up years of dependence on government and dare call that hope.” —Ronald Reagan
Just what is Obama promising? His catchphrase is "Change and Hope". Yet he never really says WHAT changes he intends and leaves it implicit that HE is the hope.
“Freedom is not a natural state—otherwise more people would be free. Tyranny, oppression, dictatorship and the denial of human rights are the norm for much of the planet. Mankind’s lower nature dictates that far too many seek to reduce others to servitude in order to elevate themselves. President Bush has repeatedly said that freedom is a God-given right that resides in the heart of every human. Maybe, but sometimes one must fight to extract it from the hardened hearts of others who want it exclusively for themselves. Looking at the faces of those who have fallen and driving by Arlington National Cemetery, I am reminded of the cost of freedom. Those who died allow me to travel freely. Those who sacrificed everything invested in freedom for my family and yours so that we can all live our lives where we choose to live them and worship where, and however, we please. These are freedoms most of the world can only dream about.” —Cal Thomas
Pretty complete statement, nothing to add, except my personal observation that most on the "Progressive" side of the aisle, in their rush to be non-judgmentally PC and all-inclusive, don't seem to really comprehend just how lucky we as a nation are in our level of personal freedom, and that it's a very rare thing in the world as a whole.
BIRTHDAY REMINDER
This week we celebrate a special birthday!
Monica Lewinsky turned 34.
Can you believe it?
It seems like only yesterday she was crawling
around the White House on her hands and knees,
and putting everything in her mouth.
They grow up so fast, don't they ? ??? !!
March 28, 2008
Free Kittens
Little Suzy had a box of very small kittens that she was trying to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign 'FREE KITTENS' next to them. Suddenly a long line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a motorcycle in front. The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out from the biggest car. 'Hi, little girl, what do you have there in the box?' he asked.
'Kittens' Little Suzy says. 'They're so small, their eyes are not even open yet.'
'What kind of kittens are they?' he asked.
'Democrats' says Little Suzy. The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.
Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. Obama called his campaign manager and told him about the little girl with the kittens. It was planned that they would return the next day, have all the media there and tell everyone about these 'democrat' kittens.
The next day, Little Suzy is standing out on the corner with her box of kittens with the 'FREE KITTENS' sign and the big motorcade of black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN. Everyone had their cameras ready and then Sen. Obama got out of his limo and walked up to Little Suzy. 'Now don't be frightened,' he said, I just want you to tell all these nice news people just what kind of kittens you're giving away today.'
'Yes sir,' Suzy said, 'they are all REPUBLICAN kittens.'
Taken by surprise, Sen. Obama said, 'But yesterday you told me they were DEMOCRATS.'
Little Suzy says, 'Yes, I know. But, today they have their eyes open.'
stolen borrowed from 
at Theodores World
Cuss'in
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating
I guess I had better try harder then !
H/T to GuyK
Quote(s) of the day
“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse.” —John Stuart Mill
“Some Democrats... are playing politics with [Iraq] and they are sending mixed signals to our troops and the enemy.” —President George W. Bush
“The question occurs: Will it take some further, even more catastrophic attack here at home—an attack made more likely by the irresponsible behavior of today’s agitators—to silence their defeatism and reunify the country behind a necessary program for victory?” —Frank Gaffney, Jr.
March 24, 2008
Syrian Protest
Maybe the leaders of anti-American protests in Syria should learn English rather than rely on foreign translators. LMAO:
A huge tip of the hat to Crissie
Obama Idiot
We all know that politicos stage photo ops in furtherance of their campaigns, its just part of the process, and we don't really care too much, we know it's part of the game to make a candidate look like they really have the gravitas for the post they are running for....but I would think that any politician worth electing would at least take the trouble to make it LOOK like they know how to use a phone!
40 Things Never Said By Southerners
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
Iraq --Worth it?
The American Thinker has the best analysis of The Iraq war I've ever seen, written by James Lewis. Bravo Mr. Lewis.
I believed and still believe that President Bush did the correct thing in engaging Islamofacism in Iraq and Afghanistan. It has not been pretty, war never is; mistakes were made as in all human endeavours, but I truly believe that history will judge that it was the best that could be done at the time, given all the factors extent at the time.
March 22, 2008
Assassin's Test
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
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Proof yet again that the female IS the deadliest of the species!
Another of Einstein's Theories
Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be 128 if he were alive today. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, theattraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be know as.......
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Oh, quit groaning I don't write this stuff,
I receive it from my warped friend Catfish and then send it on to you.
March 21, 2008
Obamarama
With all the to-do about Barack Hussein Obama's 20 year affiliation with a Hate-spewing, bigoted, racist and America-hating "Reverend", I wanted to say something about how I felt, but I just couldn't find the right words.
Then I had the good fortune to read the following at Theodore's World, so I did what any hack does, I stole borrowed it.
Thank You Chrissie, for all the good materiel you post, and all the good you do for our Veterans.
An Obamanation
It’s unfair the Obamatons howl,
To charge guilt by association;
Our boy has committed no foul;
He’s just one of the congregation.
While sitting there twenty long years,
As the reverend spewed out his odium,
Naught wafted into those large ears,
But spittle and froth from the podium?
No such tirades did I ever see,
Says Obama now that it’s news;
No rants about AIDS heard by me,
Nor venomous bile aimed at Jews.
You cherry pick dribbles and bites
From sermons of many long years;
You say my preacher hates whites?
My goodness that’s news to my ears!
But a man picks a church like a wife,
As a comfortable mate for his soul,
With commonly shared views of life;
They are parts of the man as a whole.
So Obama is welcome to try
To convince us that his soul is pure,
But it’s just a political lie;
He buys into his preacher’s manure.
Why else then sit in that church pew,
With children and wife at your side?
If you truly do not share the world view,
Of your hate-spewing spiritual guide?
Yet now you denounce Jeremiah,
In your quest for power and station;
He’s a conveniently banished pariah;
Barack, you’re an Obamanation.
Russ Vaughn
Vietnam 65-66
March 19, 2008
R.I.P.
Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, CBE (16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008) was a British science fiction author, inventor, and futurist, most famous for his novel 2001: A Space Odyssey, and for collaborating with director Stanley Kubrick on the film of the same name.
Clarke received a CBE in 1989, and was knighted in 2000. Clarke's health did not allow him to travel to London to receive the honour personally from the Queen, so the United Kingdom's High Commissioner to Sri Lanka invested him as a Knight Bachelor at a ceremony in Colombo.
Mr. Clark was considered to be one of the top three Science Fiction writers of the 20th century, with the trio being filled out by Isaac Asimov and Robert Heinlein. Pretty good company to be considerd among. He is a great loss to both the science fiction and science communities.
Marine Hero
"The way I was raised was the reason I couldn't drive by and watch that go on,” he said. "There's liberty, and then there's ridiculous.”
So said Marine reservist Ray Adam Modisette in reference to his interaction with the Westboro Baptist Church outside of Tinker AF Base last Friday.
Mr. Modisette was arrested for his actions and posted $850. bail with money he earned during his last deployment in Iraq. Local community members offered him reimbursement of the bail money, but Mr. Modisette refused, saying that he "considered it money well spent".
The city prosecutor declined to press charges at the urging of the police department (boy, does THAT sound righteous!).
You have to be proud that we still have such people in our society in spite of all the Leftist attempts to eradicate such patriotic feelings over the last thirty years.
QUOTE(S) OF THE DAY
“We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.” —C.S. Lewis
“Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.” —Thomas Carlyle
“The world is weary of statesmen whom democracy has degraded into politicians.” —Benjamin Disraeli
“I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.” —William F. Buckley
“[Barack] Obama says Rev. [Jeremiah] Wright is no longer among his campaign’s ‘spiritual advisers.’ Obama should not be asked which of Rev. Wright’s outrageous statements he disagrees with, but rather which ones he does agree with. That Obama remains a member in good standing of Trinity United Church of Christ indicates that he prefers the company of many people who have demonstrated that they believe what their pastor has said.” —Cal Thomas
“We don’t need a President of the United States who got to the White House by talking one way, voting a very different way in the Senate, and who for 20 years followed a man whose words and deeds contradict [Barack] Obama’s carefully crafted election year image.” —Thomas Sowell
“All you really need to know about Barack Hussein Obama is this: Louis Farrakhan really, really, really wants him to be president.” —Don Feder
March 17, 2008
Whoo Hoo!
For those who doubt that our Servicemen's capabilities I invite you to peruse the following picture:
Who else could park the ass end of an evac helo on the roof of a shack on top of a mountain in Afghanistan and hold it there in place to evac wounded troops?
You just have to stand in awe of the courage and capabilities of the American troops.
Irish Humor
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all
day and most of the night.
Mick, the bartender,finally says "You've had yer fill,
you'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy."
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy
spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat
on his face.
"What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the
stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards
the door and falls flat on his face again.
"Damn!" he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just
get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door
frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep
breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a
step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his
face.
Wow... I'm soused," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and
decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and
shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks
inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No
flappin' way."
But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom
door and thinks, "I think I can make it to the bed."
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his
face again.
He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop drinking," but
manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room
carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did
you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But
how'd you know?"
"Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub!!
QUOTE(S) OF THE DAY
“The most unresolved problem of the day is precisely the problem that concerned the founders of this nation: how to limit the scope and power of government. Tyranny, restrictions on human freedom, come primarily from governmental restrictions that we ourselves have set up.” —Milton Friedman
“Liberals have for years been talking about how they are really the champions of the Constitution. They’re not, but they talk like they are. And year after year people fawn over their claims and vote for them because they actually believe that acting counter to almost everything the Constitution itself stands for is supporting and preserving the Constitution. The Constitution is a pretty simple document. It says that the federal government has very limited authority. And it goes on to say that every authority not granted to the federal government through it is reserved by the States and the people.” —J.J. Jackson
And in honor of St. Paddy's Day:
“Well, Seamus Wright, I’ll keep this brief. On St. Patrick’s Day, you should spend time with saints and scholars, so of course, you know, I have two more stops I have to make. I turned back to the ancient days of Ireland to find a suitable toast, and I think I have found it. St. Patrick was a gentleman who through strategy and stealth drove all the snakes from Ireland. Here’s toasting to his health—but not too many toastings lest you lose yourself and then forget the good St. Patrick and see all those snakes again. I believe that, you know, let those who love us, love us, and those who don’t love us, let God turn their hearts. And if He won’t turn their hearts, let Him turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limp. May you have warm words on a cold evening and a full moon on a dark night and a smooth road all the way to your door.” —Ronald Reagan (17 March 1988) joshing then-House Speaker Jim Wright
March 16, 2008
Hoo-AH!
I think anti-war protesters may have to start holding protests without any prior announcement, at least if the well publicized protest at the mall in Tacoma Wash. is any guide. Pro-military counter protesters arrived earlier and set up lines to prevent the anti-war protesters from accomplishing their goal of "shutting down business of armed forces recruiters". It really made my heart fill with pride to note that the pro-military people showed up at a ratio of five to one to stop the patchouli soaked hippies/"progressive" morons people of the anti-war movement.
Here is the video:
TWO Options.....
Our neighbors to the north have gone further down the path of total gun control by banning almost all guns from private civilian hands...the inevitable results?
Crime in general has risen over 28% since the banning, and violent crimes such as rape and armed assault have risen even higher. There is a move afoot by the citizenry to have the anti-possession laws repealed and as part of that effort they have produced some very effective videos such as this one:
Two options indeed. Think if it was YOUR daughter, YOUR wife...YOU. Which option would YOU choose? Note that the girl didn't have to fire the weapon for it to be an effective detourrent, in fact, most times a weapon is used in self defense, it is NOT fired.
As for me and mine; "from my cold dead hands". Molon Labe !
H/T to Chris at My VRWC
March 15, 2008
SPELL CHECK
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table.
Sitting all around were her parents and
all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her . 'Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you.'
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?'
'You have to spell a word,' Saint Peter told her.
'Which word?' the woman asked.
'Love.'
The woman correctly spelled 'Love'.
And Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
'I'm surprised to see you,' the woman said. 'How have you been?'
'Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,' her husband told her.
'I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.
And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world.
We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer!
'How do I get in?' '
'You have to spell a word,' the woman told him.
'Which word?' her husband asked.
' Czechoslovakia .'
Moral of the story: Never make a woman
angry... There will be Hell to pay later!
March 12, 2008
Quote(s) of the Day
“The public cannot be too curious concerning the characters of public men.” —Samuel Adams
“Many in the media refer to Eliot Spitzer as some moral hero who fell from grace. Spitzer was never a moral hero. He was an unscrupulous prosecutor who threw his power around to ruin people, even when he didn’t have any case with which to convict them of anything.” —Thomas Sowell
“The biggest beneficiary of Hillary’s ‘3 a.m.’ ad is—John McCain. Of the three candidates, Americans believe he is best suited to be commander-in-chief by a lopsided margin. Hillary argued that when the tough times come, ‘You have to be ready to make a decision.’ You do, and Hillary isn’t... In truth, neither Obama nor Hillary can name an accomplishment that qualifies them for the office they seek.” —Ben Johnson
You know, there’s talk in some Democratic circles of letting the states of Michigan and Florida re-vote. Today, Al Gore said, “Oh, now you think of this! Great!” ... They’re talking about a re-vote primary where people would mail in their ballots. That’s a great idea; combine the reliability of the people in Florida who count the ballots with the efficiency of the Post Office. What could go wrong there?--Jay Leno
March 11, 2008
Quote of the Day
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” Sir Winston Churchill
Just for Grins
'Irish Viagra'
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice
in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asked the
doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's
when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired
as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and
begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect
was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye
and w ith his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he
sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and
took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare,
I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband
provided wasn't good?"
"Good jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm
sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
March 10, 2008
Whew!
"target ="blank">Pat Condell has observed that, under PC , "everything must be viewed as how it will affect Islam" im wesern society. He goes on to condemn this attitude. Finally, someone that speaks what they mean instead of what is what is PC.
Islamic DEMANDS
Here is an interesting video post on the events in Europe vis a vis the Islamic demands. As the poster said, in any SANE society, these "protesters" would be given the bums rush at the least, and more likely a ride on a rail out of town and into the river.
We in America are not immune from the effects of PC "cultural diversity" either. When C.A.I.R. can use our courts to try to terrorize those that report suspicious activity by members of the Islamic faith in an airport,or try to enforce THEIR religious strictures on those not of their faith, can UK style appeasement be far behind? Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.
Quote of the Day
“[I]f industry and labour are left to take their own course, they will generally be directed to those objects which are the most productive, and this in a more certain and direct manner than the wisdom of the most enlightened legislature could point out.” —James Madison
Pardon Me...
I love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. “Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,” she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protrudi ng. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, “Now you know why they call that fancy mustard 'Poupon.'”
H?T to CATFISH
Berkely Update
While perusing through the Internettubes I came upon a " a quarterly, independent, radical, newspaper published in the East Bay since 1988 by the Slingshot Collective." called SLINGSHOT.
One contributor of the site, one "Susan Saxaphone" (MY, how original!) was recounting how she was recruited to participate in a protest of the Berkely Marine Corps recruiting station. "I sat down in a plastic pink lawn chair in the street and lazily waved a sign saying "You can't go to school in a body bag." So far, so very banal.
What interested me was when she recounted, "I put out my cigarette when Linda Maio and Max Anderson walked up to the picket. These two Berkeley City Council members gave stump speeches urging the protesters to keep the banner high."
Of course, Ms. Saxaphone was all atwitter on how even the local government was "speaking truth to power". I, however,was, and I believe any sane person should be, outraged.
This is a case of having American elected officials encouraging insurrection against our military men and women here in America. I wonder if any of those officials heard a single word of the oaths they took when they were seated in office. This is nothing but plain sedition in time of war, compounded and aggravated by the fact that it is being done under color of authority.
Yes, elected officials do have the same rights of free speech as anyone else, but to engage in anti-war/anti-military protesting goes beyond the pale. If an elected official feels that strongly against a general public policy, they should resign their post and then protest to their hearts content. That is what a person of honor and integrity would do ( I know, I know, what politician knows the meaning of those two words, other than as lip service throwaway terms in stump speeches?)
Both Linda Maio and Max Anderson should face some consequences of their actions; at the very least, they should be removed from office. I'm sure that some of my more bloodthirsty acquaintances would prefer to go "rope,tree, miscreant officials; some assembly required" on their asses, but hey I have started to consider the environmental consequences of that action and feel it would be too damned bloody smelly after the bodies had been hanging for a week or so. I would be more content with building concrete cells,allowing only a 1" X 15" slit for bread, water, and air and putting said offenders within to reconsider their actions for a decade or three. Thats just my opinion, your mileage may vary.
March 02, 2008
Anthem
I found this via the Rott, and if you can watch this without getting a tear in your eye and a at least a little lump in your throat, I don't want to know you.
March 01, 2008
Pet Medicine
How To Give A
Cat A Pill:
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore-finger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill In right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, Drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie
the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14.
Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the Emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15.
Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To
Give A Dog A Pill:
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
Thanks Cat!
Nice Smelling Hair
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing
at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that
her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore,
takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and
asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's
sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
H/T to Catfish