A young blonde woman in Newport, Kentucky was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Ohio River. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for."
I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, warm and bring you food."
The blonde thought what do I have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, the captain discovered her.
"I was stowed away by one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe , and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Argosy Casino, and we never leave Lawrenceburg, Indiana."
H/T to Joanna M. Thanks for the laugh, Hon!
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