April 10, 2005
Yo Momma!
In my never ending quest to offend everyone, I decided to pass on this E-mail I got from someone with obviously a little too much time on his hands....
Yo Momma is SOOOO Fat...
When she dances she makes the band skip
When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave
her 13 years to live
She puts mayonnaise on aspirin
Her butt has its own congressman
Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts
Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph
Her driver's license says "picture continued on other side"
The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
All the restaurants in town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy:
240 patrons or Yo mama"
When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton
When she gets in an elevator, it has no choice but to go down
She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth
She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side
They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side
to get her through
Her nickname is "daaamn!!"
She has to iron her pants on the driveway
She's on both sides of the family
When I yell "Kool-aid," she comes crashing through the wall
She could sell shade
When she crosses the street, cars look out for her
People jog around her for exercise
She gets runs in her jeans
Her blood type is Ragu
When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an
estimate
If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
She has to put her belt on with a boomerang
When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party
She can't even jump to a conclusion
She went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters
She was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of
gas
and of course......
yo momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t- shirt,
helicopters land on her back.