Delftsman

I AM BART

You Are Bart Simpson

Very misunderstood, most people just dismiss you as "trouble." Little do they know that you're wise and well accomplished beyond your years. You will be remembered for: starring in your own TV show and saving the town from a comet Your life philosophy: "I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"

"Gringos Go Home?"

I'm feeling almost human again, although still a little on the shaky side both physically and mentally. I felt it might be time to try to see if I can still make a post that may strike a chord with someone, whether they agree or disagree.
I would again like to give my thanks to all of you for being so kind and patient with me this last month your prayers and well wishes are truly the best things that sustain me.

Read on and let me know if I have succeeded or not.

I caught the march in Los Angeles onh the periphery of my conciousness the other day....and I must say I'm kind of glad that they (La Rasa and LULAC) are organizing events such as this.

WHY? you might ask. It's like this; illegal immigration has been a "hidden" but growing problem for the last ten years or so, and now, finally, the true goals of groups such as La Rasa and LULAC are out in the open.

For far too long they have tried to pass themselves off as nothing more than "defenders of the rights of discriminated against people" They are NOT. They are nothing less than invaders of the USA, attempting to take over a large section of our country.

They claim that the Europeans are the invaders of the land and that they are the "indigenous people".....hate to remind them, but in reality, should they care to look into their own history they would find that there was this european country called Spain that conquered the lands they were born in in the 1500's...they are no more indigenous than my neighbor is. They are "mutts" as much as any American is. It's true that Indian blood is a part of their heritage also, but that is just as true for many White and Black Americans as well.

The issue here is whether or not a country has the right to limit entry into it's sovereign territory or not, and what is expected of those that chose to leave the lands of their birth to become citizens of a new country. That is the main problem; these people did not come to become citizens, they came to provide mere survival for their families, and in the process expected the American culture to adapt to them, and the PC crowd has provided them ammunition in this clash of cultures.

The present difficulty has been greatly exacerbated by the PC concept of multicultualism. We have Balkanized our country with these misguided concepts, and WE have allowed it to continue unabated for far too long...so we bear part of the blame for the present unrest.

RACIST! you might try to call me; how DARE you deny a people their heritage! "Don't you know how discriminatory we are against these Brown people?"

I say B U L L S H I T . I too am from another country, My family decided to come here because of the opportunities that are freely available ONLY in the U.S. NO ONE can be prouder of his heritage than I am, BUT when I came here, I came to be an AMERICAN; to join myself with, and to add to, a new heritage, of which I am even prouder. I, and all of my brothers were proud to volunteer to do military service to defend our new homeland in a time when the draft was still in effect, and there was a war raging in the Far East. None of us ended up serving in combat, but that was just the luck of the draw, and the areas where I and at least one of my brothers served were "trip lines" in the Cold War; areas where, should the Cold have turned Hot, we were the front line of defense, and probably would have been hard pressed to survive the initial onset of hostilities. Why do I bring this up? It's because I see the attitude of these protesters and know that they are NOT Americans looking to be equally treated and respected, but nothing less than invaders trying to infiltrate, destabilize, and ultimately defeat, the country that I love. They are the enemy, and they should be treated as such.

I have no problem with anyone from ANY country coming here to try to make a new life and provide greater benefits for their families; and by all means, be proud of your background heritage and culture, but always keep in mind that AMERICA is the culture that is sustaining you and giving you the opportunities that you didn't have before you came here.

Come here through the legal channels just as millions of us did before you and add your little piece to the tapestry of America that we are weaving as a nation; I will welcome you as a friend. Come here surrepticiously, and work to try to change our tapestry to match your old one (that didn't provide you with a means to live as you wished) and you will be my enemy. Burn the flag that I pledged my honor to defend in my presence and you WILL pay the price.

Getting Older Test

As we all get older, I'm sure that you would like to stay
"alive 'n sharp" for as long as possible. The harsh reality is however,
that none of us live forever, and one of these days each one of us is
likely to finally lose our smarts. If you're like most, you'll want to
know when that happens, so that you don't embarrass either yourself or your
loved ones. So I'm convinced that each of us should take a good hard look
at ourselves from time to time.

During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked
the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a
patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub and then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed by the wall or near the window?"

Rumors to the contrary

No, I'm not dead, or back in the hospital (though the way I've been feeling, that really doesn't sound like a bad idea).

I just have been feeling, as Acidman would say, "worse than Fido's ass".

I haven't been able to sit in the computer chair for any length of time to even check my e-mail, much less blog; and I haven't been coherant long enough to write anything that makes sense if I could.

I went to see a neurologist the other day to see about some things that may just be side effects of my meds or may be indications of some new problems. He's arranging to get some tests done; a PET scan, a tilt-table orientation test, and a full panel of endrocin tests, and my PCP has arranged for me to have a renal function series to be done too. Needless to say, I'm going to be busy the next few weeks, but at least it seems that the Docs are getting serious about seeing what I really need and what they can do for me.

Hopefully, I'll feel up to resuming regular posting soon, and I really want to let all of you, my internet friends that your prayers and best wishes really are the best medicine a guy can have, and I really do appreciate you all.

just a little humor

Still don't feel up to doing the research for a dercent post/rant, but I thought I'd pass along some jokes that Catfish e-mailed me.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed
in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do
anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing .

******************************************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N&nb sp;O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know that guy."
**************************************************************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in
the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."

******************************************************************

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I
said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt & pepper them. You know you always forget to salt
them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."

******************************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was
drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic ;training, the Army
issued
him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That
afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been
looking for Herman for 51 years.

Joke of the Day

Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Swiss Alps, are a French guy, an American guy, a n old Greek lady and a young blonde Swiss girl. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Frenchman has a bright red ha! nd print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: The Frenchman must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde thinks: That Frenchman must have tried to grope me in the d! ark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

The Frenchman thinks: The American must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The American thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that Frenchman again.

to GuyK

Home Again

First off, I would like to thank everyone that showed me such support over this last week, you can't imagine just how much it meant to me. You don't really realize just how many friends you have until it really matters, and believe me, it really mattered to me to find that I am so rich in that area.

I'm feeling as weak as a puppy, but otherwise pretty good; only the normal aches and pains that us old out of shape codgers experience on a daily basis.

The doctors have totally revamped my drug schedule, and it's great. Only five doses in the morning and three at night. Along with a strict diet plan and a close monitering of weight/B-P, nothing that should be a huge difficulty. Except quitting smoking, of course. I've quit for over a year twice before; hopefully, this time, it will be a permanent cessation. I may try hypnosis reinforcement this time....I've tried everything else, so another new way to go may just be the key that does the trick. Idiotic as it sounds, one of the biggest problems with trying to quit is the fact that I still ENJOY smoking. Yeah, I know how that sounds, and I agree with everything any of you'll say about that piece of lunacy, but nevertheless, it's just a fact of life.

The short term prognosis is fairly decent, and mostly dependent on my own abilities to stick with the program, so I have high confidence that I'll do well.
It will be hard to limit my meat intake, but I really do like vegatables if cooked correctly, so thats doable. Salt will be difficult to deal with, not so much because I'm addicted to it, but because it's hidden in so many things that you'd never think about, and they have me limited to 1500mg a day or less... were you aware that a one ounce serving of pudding has 160mg of salt in it?!? One decent sized Dill Pickle would almost put me over the limit. It's going to be an adventure in eating to see just what I can't anymore.

The worst thing about a stay in the hospital is the seemingly insatiatiable thirst for blood by everyone involved in your care. I swear, even the orderlys seemed to need an ounce or two before they could get on with their other duties. "you'll feel just a little pinch" and "this will be pretty painless" were phrases I truly came to despise, even though ( except in the case of a certain student nurse that seemed to think a blood draw was a hunting expedition for the "PERFECT" vein) for the 99.9 % of the time it was true. I am the victim of Belonephobia (thanks Beth!), or the unreasoning fear of needles. I SEE a needle, and my natural impulse is to be at least two blocks away from the offending implement in the next half second or so, and faster than that, if possible. I can't honestly say that blood draws and IV's are painful, they AREN'T. (again, with the unusual exception of that one clumsy student nurse trying to learn her craft).

The potassium injections they gave me in my stomach four times a day were a bit painful, but then again, not really anything to really get hyper about.

But to me, the smallest guage butterfly needle looked to have the bore of a twenty pounder cannon and served to elevate my B/P by 50 points at the mere contemplation of said instrument corrupting the integrity of my dermal covering. (and when your B/P is at 270/180 to begin with, that gets into stroke territory)

Being the recipiant of the attentions of these vampires on a what seemed like a ten minute basis certainly made things uncomfortable, to say the least....but at least I wasn't screaming like a little girl (and the ice cream they let me have made up for the recaltarance I was feeling over a period of time ;) ) I don't think I'll ever totally get over my unreasonable fear of needles, but this last week has let me know that I can survive it with at least a little pride left.

Wednesday...

I got a call from Delfts this morning letting me know that he may be released on Thursday. His spirits were not good, and honestly I can hardly blame him for that. It's a kick in the teeth to finally admit that a total lifestyle change is in order, especially when one's spouse can be a raving lunatic. It is also very sobering to find out that the disease he has is chronic, cumulative, and typically runs its course in 5 years. If you're lucky.

No salt.
No cigarettes.
No fats.
No caffine.
No lazy days spent entirely either in bed or at the computer.
No excuses.

He will make these changes, or he will die, simple as that.

My submissive, michael, suggested that I get some brochures and ask him go ahead and pick out his urn now in the hopes it will sink in that this is no longer a matter of mind over matter or willing one's self to be well in spite of one's behaviors, not that it ever truly was. Sounds cruel. Sounds tough. Maybe that is what is called for.

Honestly, I do not know what to do.

One thing is for certain, I have made sure that no longer will there be beef in abundance, unfettered use of salt, or rich foods in the house. Gone are the days of bringing in a half pound of 3yr old cheese that should have lasted for a very long time, even when shared by 4 adults, only to find it all gone the next day with nothing remaining but the wax rind on the floor in front of the television. And the days of going to the refrigerator to get a roasted chicken to make dinner and finding nothing but a plastic container of bones and scraps. And the days of bringing home sacks of White Castles. And the days of going to a nice restaurant and ordering the entire menu.

No more "Competitive Eating" as michael has so aptly described it.

So now in anticipation of Delfts' arrival home tomorrow, jane is vacuuming and cleaning and setting up his area in the family room so that he will be comfortable. When I get home from work tonight, we are going to pitch in together to clear out his computer desk area. Then I will go through the kitchen and hide everything that he cannot have. michael and jane have already agreed to keep any Blacklisted Foods that they buy for themselves in their room, and I have a small refrigerator to put in there so that they can.

I know he's extremely frustrated right now, a lot of it with me. I did not visit him for as long or as often as he wanted. Nor did I bring snacks and drinks, or sit and baby him like I have done in the past. I was not the loving and doting wife who plumped pillows and slept in a chair until 3am in case he needed a sip of water or a steadying hand to help him to the bathroom. I didn't because I couldn't.

I just wasn't able to emotionally. There is just too much anger and hurt right now, knowing that other than the waiting, he has ultimately succeeded in his passive suicide. There is too much betrayal from the belief that our marriage and our daughter were not good enough for him to want to make the changes he should have made four years ago at the onset of this, changes that would have allowed him to perhaps see Anna graduate from high school.

Every one of you, look into your mirror and take a long look at the person you see. Look around you at all of the people who's lives you touch every day. Look at your children, at your parents, at your husband or your wife and think about how terrible it would be to lose any one of them. Think of how you would grieve them, mourn their loss, miss them every day. Imagine holidays and birthdays and graduations and weddings without them. No more trick or treating, no more trips to the range, no more silly jokes, no more hugs, no more... life.

Now, put yourself in their shoes and know how your death will affect them.

Don't do to them what is happening here.

Mamamontezz

If it's the Cath Lab, it must be Tuesday

I was awakened by a phone call from Delfts this morning at 6am. They had started an IV in anticipation of a catheterization and he was letting me know.

Even at that early hour, he sounded in much better spirits than he had the last several days. His breathing was easier and more relaxed, and he sounded rested. It was quite an improvement over Saturday when we arrived.

I'm still waiting for news on the procedure and what they found. I know they are looking for blockages in his bypass grafts and for a stenosis of his renal arteries. Each of these conditions can contribute to the increased blood pressure and ultimately the fluid build-up that is CHF. They've checked for the stenosis before to no avail, but want to look again to make sure there have been no changes over the last three years.

Hopefully Susan, his nurse on the CHF unit, will call shortly to let me know how the cath went. As soon as I have any news, I will append this post.

Update: I just got off the phone with Susan, the nurse with the sexy voice. (I'm sure that's driving Delfts mad.) She had good news and not so good news.

To start with, he got through the cath just fine. Regardless of how commonplace these things are, a catheterization is always a risky thing. Generally they don't like to do them unless there is no other way to get the information they need. He may think having 7 caths under his belt is no big deal. I beg to differ on that one.

What they found was not good, but neither was it as bad as it could have been. He does have some partial blocks in his bypass grafts. None of them is completely blocked. They want to treat them medically, not surgically, to open the grafts. Now, for 99% of patients, this is a good thing. For Delfts, however, this only means that ultimately they won't be treated.

Delfts has some real issues with Compliance. He is a Taurus, after all, and he knows everything better than anyone else does, especially if it affects him and his creature comforts in any way.

Medications? Only if he feels bad and the pills are within either arm's reach or I'm willing to go look for them for him.

Diet Change? And give up his favorite foods, foods like hard aged cheese, spicy amalgams of meat, pickled or cream style herring, and various wursts and smoked delicacies? I don't think so.

Exercise? Why, that would kill him, not to mention make him sweat and potentially miss a special on the Mating Rituals of Rhinos on Discovery Channel..

Oh, and what about Cigarettes? Do I really need to address that question?

*sighs and shakes my head*

Anyway... He's better. He seems to be improving each day. The tests revealed what I have believed for a long time. Now it is up to him. He can comply and be assimilated, or he can fight and end up in a hole. Basically, those are his choices. He'd best start taking them seriously.

Mamamontezz

The Monday Update

From the Desk of Mama...

I went on my final break of the day to see the Spousal Unit. Bear in mind that I work in the basement in an obscure cul de sac behind food services in the north east corner of a huge campus, and that Delfts is on the third floor of an added wing, attached willy-nilly like a mis-chosen puzzle piece at the southwest corner of this same huge campus. Now consider I only had 15 minutes to get there, check on him, and get back to my official duties as the Voice of the Hospital.

So off I go, zigging and zagging, jigging and jogging, up the elevator, past heart patients on their little hallway walks between the big read hearts on the walls, each heart placed 25 ft apart to track their progress, until at last I reach the CICU. I round the bend at team 4, straight down the hallway toward team 3, hit the wall button for access, pick up steam at the nurses desk, then look up to see that his room is dark, the door wide open, the bed empty, and the entire unit is Delfts-Free.

I cannot describe the momentary feeling I had when I saw that room.

After I found my wits, I went to the nurse at the counter just outside the room and asked where he had been moved. She was not able to find his name in the census, so I put two and two together, decided on the new Heart Failure Unit, and walked over. And there he was, alone in his room watching Jesse James grind an exhaust pipe for some chopper on the Discovery Channel.

I wasn't able to talk to his nurse, but from what Delfts said he had a bad angina attack last night. They gave him morphine and darvocet to help with the pain from that. His blood pressure is now so low (for him, anyway) that he feels like he has no strength and is fainty. Even at that, his top number is 144 and his bottom number is fondling 100.

Because that is seen as progress, they decided he didn't need to be in the CICU any longer and put him in a "Step Down Unit" specific to CHF patients. His lungs sounded a lot clearer, they've turned down the volume of his O2, and his color is a little better.

I tried to get him to use the keyboard the hospital provides for wireless internet, but he can't figure out how to use it. Of course, he's still tying to figure out his basic, no frills cell phone, so there's not going to be enough time to teach him how to cruise the net from his room. He simply won't be here long enough.

Hopefully he'll be better tomorrow and they will make a decision on cathing him again or not.

At the very least, he's had his last cigarette, whether he knows it now or not.

A last note: To all of the wonderful people, friends and strangers, old acquaintences and new ones, Emperors and minions, you cannot imagine how much your kindness has meant to all of us.

Each comment has been printed and taken to Delfts so that he can read them all, and I will tell you all now that there is no better medicine than the love of your friends and your family. As far as we are concerned, some of you have long ago transcended the realm of friend and truly are now family.

Thank you all so very much for your many kindnesses.

Mamamontezz

Hospital Fun

Note: My name is Erin, and I am Bert's daughter. While at the hospital with him this afternoon, Dad wrote out a quick note to post here. After I got home and followed his instructions, I checked to see if it had posted and discovered that Lila had already posted something about his current whereabouts. I decided to just come back in here and add this little forward but to still post it, just to adhere to Daddy's wishes. So, sorry if you're getting dual information.

Went to see the quack to see about getting some relief from this lung thing...

He took note of my blood pressure and respiration rate and told me that I was to NOT pass Go & collect $200, but head to the emergency room ASAP; he would have them waiting for me.

I walked in the ER door and within 5 minutes I had an IV of 50% nitroglycerin flowing into my arm, an O2 line going at 5L in my nasal cavity and a pretty nurse pushing Lasix into my arm at a 4mg/3min rate.

They believe that I have pneumonia and congestive heart failure brought on by the excess fluid in my lungs. They want to do a heart cath just to be on the safe side and do an overhaul on my drug regimen. They were also a bit concerned that I had lost so much weight in the last six months and want to do some basic cancer screening tests -- just to cover their asses bases. Might be a few days until I can get access to a keyboard, but I'll be thinking of you all.

Dad didn't mention this in the note he gave me to type, but the doctors also believe that it is very likely that he had a small heart attack this week, which he didn't notice due to the pain he was already experiencing in his chest from the lung congestion. He's in the hospital for a few days, but he'll hopefully be back on his feet (or, in Dad's case, ass -- his most favoritest position) in just a few days.

Delfts' Situation

Delfts has been sick all week with what he thought was bronchitis. His lungs were so congested, he was unable to sleep because laying down caused his lungs to fill and choke breath away. He had gone so long without sleep that he had started to hear and see things.

So finally, after a week of this he finally decided to call the doctor. The triage nurse set an appointment for this morning at 8:15 based on how he described his symptoms. We went to bed and got up early and made the drive to the doctor's office for what we believed would be a scrip for antibiotics and a good cough medicine.

What we got was something entirely different.

Based on his history of coronary artery disease, his family histories of both Congestive Heart Failure and Cancer, his sudden loss of weight over the last 6 months without any effort, and the way he presented at the office, the doctor looked at us and asked which ER we preferred, because Delfts was going to one of them and we might as well go to the one where we wanted him admitted. Delfts did not have bronchitis or pleurosy as he believed. Delfts is in some level of Congestive Heart Failure.

Off we went to the ER, where he was taken in almost immediately, seen by a full set of techs and physicians, and admitted into the CICU. He is on a continuous nitro IV, has been given Lasix(sp) for the fluid build up, and will probably undergo a contrast catheterization on Monday to check his bypass grafts.

He had what appeared to be a small silent heart attack this afternoon while I was visiting, and the nurses are aware of it. The cardiologist believes he has had at least one other earlier this week. They have drawn blood for testing for the heart markers to make sure that isn't the case.

Also, because he has lost 40 pounds and 4 waist sizes in 6 months without trying, because he admitted to some bleeding and fresh blood in the toilet, because of his coloring, and because he has a family history of it, they will also be checking him for various cancers.

So what he thought was just a bad case of bronchitis that he could ignore truly was not what it appeared. And he delayed treatment for almost a week because he did not want to go to the doctor. I think he was afraid that if he went, he wouldn't be able to go to Austin in April. Silly man...

[insert appropriate derogatory, gender-specific observation here]

He's comfortable. He's sleeping. He's eating better than he has all week, and he's being treated for the fluid and the cardiac episodes.

He asked that I let you all know, and this was the best way to do it.

Keep him in your thoughts, and I will try to print off all comments to this post for him to read. Even yours, Karlo. *grins*

Because he is in CICU, they will not let him have a phone, which also means no dial-up even if I could take in the Ancient Ritual Laptop of Doom™ and set it up for him.

As soon as I know anything, I will let you all know right here.

Bitching...AGAIN

Want to know why I'm not posting? These two cartoons perfectly describe how I have been feeling the last couple days. I've had about 4 hrs sleep since Monday....every time I try to lay down, it feels like I've just ran a six minute mile. My lungs are just so congested I can't get a real breath...and I can't even get a decent cough going to clear them without it feeling like I'm tearing my rib cage out of my incision scar. I'm not complaining..HELL.....Yes I AM complaining.. again.. sheesh, I'm starting to sound like a broken record...a cranky, bitchy, whiny, pity party record.. I HATE that. But thats all I can seem to come up with lately, and since I don't want to subject you, my dear readers, to such self pitying tripe, I just won't post until I can do something worthy of your time and effort.

I couldn't take another twenty years of gasping for every breath like I have the last three days. I'd just as soon climb in the box and shut the lid if thats all I had to look forward to.

I just hope they give me the page for April to mark down the dates for the Austin Blog meet.