Delftsman

Prayer Request

I got this E-mail, and I'm passing it on by posting it.
************************************************************
I understand the weather in Iraq is very difficult to bear
right now. Our troops need our prayers for strength, endurance
and safety.

I am sorry but I am not breaking this one. Send this on after
a short prayer; please don't break it:

"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they
perform for us in our time of need.
I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
Amen."

When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a
prayer for our troops around the world.
Pass this request to all who might
pray. Do not let it stop with you, please - of all the gifts
you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine
deployed in harm's way, prayer is the very best!!!
Thank you.

Assurance of Endurance

II Samual 22: 2, 3

The Lord is my Rock, and my Fortress, and my Deliverer.

The God of my strength, In Whom I will trust!

Dang! will we never be rid of them?

In the grand tradition of Dewey,Cheatum and Howe; some polititians with some spare time have decided to open a new practice. Without furthur ado, may I introduce:

H/T to Catfish

Light Postings....

Sorry about the light posting lately...I was engaged in trying to get my shit in one sock getting ready for my court case to be heard on Monday afternoon.

I hope I got it all right and that this will be the end of the nightmare. It's already taken all the money that I had set aside for the Austin blogmeet, but I have a month to try to scrape that together again, and without it, I'd have been a guest at the greybar hotel, so no tears on that score.

I've done everything I can to get in compliance with the City's (I think unreasonable) demands, we'll just have to see if the judge agrees tomorrow.

But as you may surmise, it's been a real strain, and I haven't felt like posting even when I had the time; hopefully, that laxness will end tomorrow.

I know that there have to be rules to ensure the health and safety of all the residents of a community, but when the letter of the law becomes more important than the spirit, there is a problem. Unreasonable restrictions just cause more pain/trouble/hassel than the original "infrantion" ever could.

UPDATE: Well I went to court and found that they were willing to go (relatively) easy on me. They determined that I had done what was possible under the circumstances to come into compliance with the zoning codes. Then they doubled the fine in the original plea bargain, and gave me until May 1st. to pay it. (I came prepared to pay the original fine, so I now owe the city $256.)

All I have to do is pay the fine by the due date and the case will be considered closed; WITH the proviso that I do not come into violation for the same thing, or be found in contempt of court and face a 6 month jail sentence and a $5,000 fine. Gonna make it hard to make the Austin Blogmeet, but not totally impossible, just have to wait and see how it works out.

R.I.P.

"nip it; nip it in in the bud" "it's an art treasure, see?, it says 'frageelee' "

If you can remember those tag lines, you know that we've lost two of the best charactor actors that ever lived.

They even acted in a movie together, "Hot Lead and Cold Feet":

They say that bad news always comes in threes...in this case I hope not, I've lost enough of my childhood already.

UPDATE: Well, there is a third...Dennis Weaver of the Gunsmoke, Gentle Ben, and McCloud series fame. He also starrred in one of my favorite movies, called Duel.

Allah or Jesus?

I got this from a friend of mine in the Second Amendment group I belong to. I believe that I have seen it before, but I can't remember for sure. Snopes says that this event was is based in a true event....but distorted.

Their point that Islam is not the monolithic ediface that is presented in the MSM is a good one. BUT when one reads the statements coming out of the mouths of Islamic religious leaders, it still leads one to wonder, and the the main question about which would seem to be the more benificent religion when one compares the basic attitude towards those that do not subscribe to the tenets of the religion is still valid, at least in the case of those radical elements that are fomenting all the problematic religious uprisings in the world today.

###################################################

During the training session for maintaining my state prison security
clearance, there was a presentation by three speakers representing the
Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of
their belief systems.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.
The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with
a video.

After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and
clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the
infidels of the world. And, that by killing an infidel, which is a
command to all Muslims, they are assured of a place in heaven. If
that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"

There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation,
he replied, "Non-believers!"

I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All
followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of
your faith so they can go to Heaven. Is that correct?"

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command
to that of a little boy who had just gotten caught with his hand in the
cookie jar. He sheepishly replied, "Yes."

I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine the
Pope commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley
ordering Protestants to do the same in order to go to Heaven.

The Imam was speechless.

I continued, "I also have problem with being your friend when you
and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me. Let me
ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah who tells you to
kill me in order to go to Heaven or my Jesus who tells me to love you
because I am going to Heaven and He wants you to be with me?"

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.

Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the
'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of
dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslim's
beliefs.

SWMBO Speaks

Mamamontezz has broken her silence on things of merit and shows that she still "HAS IT".

Cheney Headlines

The following is a sampling of news story headlines related to Vice President Cheney's shooting accident:

Kingsville Dispatch
"Sheriff Fines Cheney $100 For Only Wounding Lawyer"

National Review Online
"Red States Poll Shows Cheney Shooting Was Justifiable"

Dallas Morning News
"Shot Came From Grassy Knoll"

Austin Statesman
"Cheney Says Victim's Quail Call Was Best He Ever Heard"

Washington Post
"Cheney Prevents Hunting Party From Field Dressing Shooting Victim"

The Nation
"Cheney Drove Shooting Victim to Hospital Tied to The Hood of His Car"

San Antonio Express/News
"Sneaky Lawyer Tactics Don't Work On Cheney"

Houston Chronicle
"Personal Injury Lawyers Hold Candlelight Vigil Outside Cheney Victim Hospital"

Wyoming Tribune Eagle
"Cheney Friends Decline Fall Duck Hunting Invitation"

La Raza
"Cheney Shooting Victim Gets Emergency Room Priority Over Illegal Aliens"

Vegan News
"Cheney Shooting Victim Converts To Vegetarian In Hospital"

NRA American Rifleman
"Witnesses Claim Cheney Only Feathered Lawyer"

New Orleans Times Picayune
"Getting 'Dicked' Has All New Meaning"

Broussard "Times Pickyournose" (Broussard, La.)

"Cheney misses Qyale"

H/T to Catfish

Smiles From the Bible

Proving that not ALL his jokes are risque, here's some coice Biblical jokes from Catfish

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out
a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph
was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the
apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived
in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...)

KEEP SMILING!

PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?

Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . "He brews"

Al Quada, Saddam and WMD's

Because we keep hearing the Liberal mantra that "Saddam and Al Quada had no connections" and "Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11", I suggest you read this post at American Thinker.

And now there is mounting evidence that those WMD's are in Syria and Lebanon.

I believe that in the future(assuming we still exist as a nation), when a lot of facts that are "hidden" today come out, our posterity will wonder just how come we allowed a large segment of our political leaders commit treason in such an open manner with no repercussions to them at the time.

Hmmmmm...

Stole this one from Hoosierboy:

Sounds like a good plan to me...the Clintons can never maintain discipline in following rules... I suggest that Cheney go to buckshot instread of birdshot though...

The Trade

As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White
House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and
says:

"Nice pigs, sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic
Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Ted Kennedy, and I got one
for Senator John Kerry.

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and
says, "Nice trade, sir."

P.S.A.

I was going through my daily read routine when I found this over at Gut Rumbles:

The hubster and eldest spawn are off camping this weekend with some friends of ours. Guys weekend out...they do this often, however...this one is really special to them all. Why? Because, Mikey, errr....Michael...hell no...he's Mikey, is in town on leave. Mikey's 19 years old, a helluva Marine and headed to Iraq in the next 2 weeks. He's ready to go, he's willing to fight, however, he's nervous. Who wouldn't be? Iraq and Effingham County aren't really similar at all! Anyway, I would really, really, from the bottom of my heart appreciate you sending any sort of message (not an f-ed up you're dying for nothing one, nice ones) to give to him before he leaves. He's a great kid, and I really appreciate him and those like him who are willing to protect our ass. No matter how you feel about the war, how many 19 year olds that you know would head over there? If you pray, tell him, if you feel thankful, tell him, if you wish him Godspeed - tell him. If you have military advice or are a veteran, depart some of that wisdom. Please send it to me at: writing4areason@aol.com and I will be sure to print it out and give it to him. Sometimes ya just gotta let someone know you appreciate them having your back!! Semper Fi!! (and if you want to send this on...please do...the more the merrier!!) If you don't want to leave your full name or whatever....leave your blog addy, or whatever...please let me know where you are from....so he can see it ain't just us Jawja crackers wishing him well!!

This young man deserves all the support we can muster for him; please take a moment out of your busy life and let him know that his service IS appreciated.

Thank you for following in a great tradition of Service, Mikey! You do your parents and your neighbors proud.

"we weren't IMMEDIATLY INFORMED" ! THe HORROR!

I know I haven't weighed in on the hunting accident controversy...it was an accident, and that about covers it. No, I'm NOT concerned about the "delay" in reporting it to the news media. and all the furor over the "delay", as far as I'm concerned, reminds me that it was 24 HOURS before Teddy reported his little dip in the bay, and the 30 hour delay in reporting on the Vince Foster "suicide note", orchistrated by none other than THE Hillery herself..nothing was ever made in the media about these "mistimings of information dispersal" in the press...Just another example of BDS on the part of the press..

This bumper sticker pretty much sums up my attitude:

To Michelle Malkin for the link to the bumper sticker.

A girl with her head on straight

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells
her father that they learned about the history of
Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is named after a Christian saint
and we're Jewish," she asks, "will G-d get mad at me for
giving someone a valentine?

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't
think G-d would get mad. Who do you want to give a
valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden ?", her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American
Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a
valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're
not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.
And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to
Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start
going all over the place to tell everyone how much he
loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter
with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most
wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets
him out in the open, the Marines could blow the
shit out of him

To GuyK

Subject: Be My Valentine

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man
standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle
and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man
and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000
Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

To Catfish

REMINDER

Remember guys, Valentine's day is TOMORROW!

Maybe you're lucky like me and have a sweetie that's easy to please on this day of romantic expression promulgated by the corporate interests of the greeting card companies, but for G-ds sake, at least get her a card!

I've learned that even when they SAY that it's ok that you forgot, it is NOT.

I have it covered, but I thought I'd post this as a tribute to my lovely wife of almost 12 years too:

And Honey, below the fold is JUST for you. (that means don't look, the rest of you pervs!)

Hat tip to www.angelart-gallery.com for the cool valentine art and to Nicholas Gordon for the poem

Sunday Humor

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you
chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And
the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve ... we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! ; "Didn't I
tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and
lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be
hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think
it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

To Catfish

New Addition to the Blogroll

I received an e-mail from one of the co-founders of a site called Watching America , asking me to check out the site as a possible addition to my blogroll.

Since he indicated that he had read my feeble attempts and found them interesting (flattery, the grease of society!) I did so, and found what I think will become a daily read in my never ending search for inspiration/information in writing a post that someone may find worthy of perusal and comment.

I added them as number three in my "National Stuff" section, please check them out, you'll be glad that you did.

RIGHT ON!

Wild thing has something to say to terrorists:

Health (Mis)Care

THIS is a story that will anger you. A man pays for insurance, and when stricken with Kidney cancer, his insurance carrier refuses to pay for treatment, saying it was either "uneeded" or "experimental"....and when the cancer progresses to the point where the only option is to keep the man as comfortable as possible as he dies, it even refuses to pay for Morphine, citing the dangers of addiction at the doses he required to be pain free...

I don't hold the hospital and doctors unaccountable either, they SHOULD have provided the needed treatment AS they were battleing the insurance company for payment.

I was reading the message boards accompaning this story, and I noticed a number of people citing this case as proof that we need to go to a National Health Care system, such as employed in Canada.

All I can say to that is that if you want to see such horror stories become the norm, rather than the exception, go to a government provided system.

Brokeback Provisions list

I was doing my daily round of my favorites when I saw this...I HAD to steal it in exchange for ruining my keyboard, it's only fair, right? Spew Alert!

Weekly Grocery Lists for Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, Summer, 1962:

WEEK ONE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK TWO
Beans
Ham
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK THREE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey
K-Y

WEEK FOUR
Beans
Pancetta
Coffee (espresso grind)
Whiskey
2 tubes K-Y

WEEK FIVE
Fresh Fava beans
Basmati rice
Prosciutto, approx. 8 ounces, thinly sliced
Medallions of veal Porcini mushrooms
1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream
1 Cub Scout uniform, size 42 long
5-6 bottles good Chardonnay
1 large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
5 lbs.Yukon Gold potatoes
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 lb. asparagus (very thin)
1 dozen eggs
6 fresh Lemons
500 grams cave-aged Gruyère cheese
100 grams California Black walnuts
2 bunches arugula (alternately, roquette)
500 grams Normandy butter
250 ml extra virgin olive oil, first cold pressing
250 ml Balsamic vinegar (de Modena)
6 yards white silk organdy
6 yards pale ivory taffeta
Case of 1955 Au Bon Climat "Nuites blanches au bouge" Chardonnay
Large tin Crisco

To GuyK

Just Damn!

Dax Montana has a post up belieing the curent Mooonbat meme that our "Armed Services are a broken, dispirited force". All I can say is JUST DAMN!

I think you're wrong Dax; you'd of made a HELL of a soldier. I envy you in the pride you felt that your establishment meant so much to one NCO that he requested it as the backdrop of his reenlistment, that speaks volumes as to your own charactor.

Experiment

With all the controversy over cartoons lately, and in my never ending quest to get a fatwah placed against me, I thought that it might be instructive to post a couple cartoons. Both are offensive, though they are each offensive to a different major religion.

I thought it might be instructive to observe the difference in reaction to the cartoons by the adherants of those faiths. Both cartoons involve sex in a manner offensive to the creeds held by those faiths, after all, sex is the hottest trigger to anger the religious.

First the Catholic:

Then the Islamic:

Let the fun begin.

Humor; the refuge of the lazy bloggger

I'm battleing a bad case of Bronchitis right now and don't feel up to any real posting, but I do have a couple jokes you might enjoy...

The Blonde Baptist Cowgirl

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the
bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church .... and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my sisters though."

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This is an oldie, but a goodie:

It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were
standing in the courtyard and singing "Ave Maria."

They were singing it beautifully. But oddly, each of them was
holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with
a pencil.

A visitor listened in wonder to the performance and then
approached the conductor.

"I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the
best choirs I have ever heard."

"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.

"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they
called?"

"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor... "They're the
Moron Tapanapple Choir."

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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One
day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom
of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. Swam to the bottom and
pulled Ralph out.

When the Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital,
as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have
good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in
and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness .

The bad news is Ralph, the patient you saved, hanged
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead" Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him
there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"

Some good Advice from Down Under

Barbados Butterfly has good advice for all those new Interns out there:

(to the tune of "If you're happy & you know it").

If your patient tolerates a Guedel,
Call a Code
If you can't quite feel a pulse,
Call a Code
If you're panicking and new,
And you don't know what to do
If you're panicking and new
Call a Code.

If your registrar wants a Code
Call a Code
If the nurses want a Code
Call a Code
If the patient looks quite ill,
And he's green around the gills,
If the patient looks quite ill,
Call a Code.

If you think the heart has stopped
Call a Code.
If the stridor's getting worse
Call a Code.
If your patient looks quite blue,
And you don't know what to do,
If your patient looks quite blue,
Call a Code.

If the blood pressure is 50
Call a Code.
If the patient's in VT
Call a Code.
If the ICU pooh-poohs
While your man's heading down the tube
If the ICU pooh-poohs
Call a Code.

If the blood is pouring out
Call a Code.
If you need all hands on deck
Call a Code.
If you can't get any help
No matter how loud you yelp
If you can't get any help
Call a Code.

UNLESS the patient is NFR (DNR, for us in the States):

"If the patient’s NFR
Hold their hand
When there’s nothing left to do
Hold their hand
Leave the crash cart well alone
Get the relatives on the phone
If the patient’s NFR
Hold their hand."

Just HAD to add B-B to the blogroll, under "people that make me think", she's too cool not to visit often.

Just a Tease...

Lady Heather's nude pic

AYAAN HIRSI ALI Speaks

Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a member of the Dutch Parlement, who is under a Fatwah for her public views and association with the murdered film maker,Theo van Gogh, in the making of the film "Submission", spoke with Spiegel, a German News service. In the interview she makes the point that Europe in general needs to stand up to Islamic pressure, if it is to survive as a group of free nations.

here's just a taste:

"There should be solidarity. The cartoons should be displayed everywhere. After all, the Arabs can't boycott goods from every country. They're far too dependent on imports. And Scandinavian companies should be compensated for their losses. Freedom of speech should at least be worth that much to us".

Go read the rest, and if you have any relatives living in Europe, urge them to join in a show of solidarity againt the Islamic assault on their freedom of expression.

And write your Senator's and Congressmen and let them know that you are not happy with the U.S.'s official response to those assaults.
We need to stand together with Europe in the face of assaults on freedom of expression, and not let the pusillanimous assholes of Foggy Bottom weaken us still furthur in the eyes of our joint enemy.

And remember to

Just a couple quick ones

An elderly couple were attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says " I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

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Four Catholic Mothers

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest.

When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop.

Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal.

Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.

The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hardbodied, well hung, Male stripper.

Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My God...."

Another test

I saw this over at GuyK's place and thought I'd give it a go. It does sum me up pretty well for the most part, although I do think I'm more agreeable than the test would make me out to be.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Body Armor Snafu

When I read this story I was outraged at the callous manner of some of our rear echelon types treat the "grunts on the ground".

Seems that 1st Lt. William “Eddie” Rebrook IV had been badly injured by an IED, and in the course of his battlefield treatment, his Kevlar armor had been removed and burned as a biohazard. But since that fact wasn't noted in the action report of the treatment, he was required to pay $700. for it's replacement as he was being processed for a medical discharge.

It was ever thus, the rear echelon always follows the letter of the law, irregardless of the law's intent, or the extenuating circimstances attendant on some losses. This is an example of poor leadership in Lt. Rebrook's Bn. structure; his CO could have filed for an exception, and SHOULD have.
But it wouldn't have looked "right" on the record, and so, once again, the common grunt is left holding the bag.

It makes me wonder sometimes just how we get the best men and women that we DO to serve, when the middle layers of the command structure are more concerned with paperwork and appearences rather than what is best for the troops, especially troops that have sacrificed so much, physicaly and mentally.

The Army, and the Nation, owe Lt. Rebrook an apology. I tender mine here.
LT. REbrook, Thank you for your service, and I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors. You did your duty, and I am ashamed that you were subjected to this travesty of injustice.

It's a FUNERAL, NOT a DNC rally!

Once again Liberals have used what should have been a solemn and dignified occasion to honor a person who had dedicated her life to the betterment of her people and turned it into a freak show to display their BDS to the world.

Expose the Left has the video, should you wish to torment yourself with viewing Idiotarian Idiocy at it's most strident.

Only the RADICAL Left would turn a funeral into a political rally and feel no shame in doing so.

Jimmy Carter has shown his true colors yet again, and any iota of respect I may have held for him as a man (I never had ANY for him as a President) got wiped away with his totally inappropiate message. "Old Joe" was bad, but face it, he's hardly a household figure; for Mr. Carter to bloviate as he did was the height of political hubris that ill reflected the Democratic Party in it's current form.

Bad day, and BADDDD days

Whenever you haveing a bad day, just think of the poor schmuck below. It's sure to make your troubles seem a bit more trifleing than at first glance.

To Catfish

Proof that attorney's aren't all that smart

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Musings

I have the distinct feeling that soon we will be engaged in a military action in Iran. With the repeated public statements of the elected President of that benighted country, calling for the eradication of Israel, or at the least, the relocation of Israel to Europe, and their throwing out the UN atomic watchdogs in their continued quest to enriching uranium, I don't see that diplomacy really has much of a chance to work, and we simply CAN'T allow a nuclear Iran to become a reality.

I can hear one of the first questions from my liberal readers: "what gives us the right to determine whether or not Iran goes nuclear?"

To which I can only respond that being the biggest dog in the pack gives us the right, no, the RESPONSIBLITY to prevent that occurance. We are the only ones that CAN.

We owe it to our citizens, unless you think we have to wait until one of our cities goes up in a mushroom cloud before we can respond? And make no mistake, a nuclear Iran WILL result in that happening, sooner or later.

We had the chance to prevent North Korea from being a nuclear power, and we chose to go the endless diplomatic route until it was a fait accompli, much to our disadvantage today. We cannot afford to make that same mistake again.
As crazy as the Dictator of NoKo is; next to the leadership of Iran, he's a model of mental stability, and at least in NoKo, we have the Chinese exercising some control over the situation. In Iran, there is nothing but the dreams of a religeous zealot anxious to bring on an Apocalypse that he believes will bring on the New Caliphate.

It will not be an easy fight; it will be bloody and long, but it is a fight that will have to fought.

Texas Blogfest!

I've been informed that the dates for Texas Blogfest will be April 28 through the 30th. and that it will be held in Austin instead of Dallas this year.

Mamamontezz won't be able to attend this year, there just isn't enough time left in her vacation bank.

I don't know HOW I'm going to afford airfare/hotel/car rental, but I fully intend to be there. Maybe I can sell one of my lesser organs to finance the trip.

Better yet, maybe SS will FINALLY get off their dead asses and give me the money I'm entitled to for two years back benefits. If I hadn't had to pay the fine/court costs in my fight with the city; I'd have had at least a third of what I need for the trip; it really galls me that the money is languishing in the coffers of Indianapolis, instead of my travel fund...but facing 3 months in an 8 x 10 cell for contempt appealed to me even less.

If any of you are driving to the Fest from up here in the snowlands, how about swinging by the Circle City on your way? We can share driving chores and fuel costs. Just an idea...

Fla. Blogfest...memories

Here's a few more pics of the goings on in Florida...DAMN I miss that state!

Staci in all her glory

Had a crasher; he had heard the G.L.O.R.'s would be there...

He found out that Lying Liberals aren't tolerated by G.LO.R.'s.

Here's Staci, the Lady Heather, Stella, and Dea plotting the downfall of civilization as we men know it.

Of Course Neil has the proper response: BRING IT ON!

Rocking the night away

Darwinism in Education

Some students at the
University of Maryland are
required to take a difficult
class in physics.

One day, the professor was discussing
a particularly complicated
concept. A student rudely
interrupted to ask, "Why do we
have to learn this stuff?"

"To save lives," the
professor responded quickly
and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same
student spoke up again. "So
how does physics save lives?"
he persisted.

"It prevents idiots like you
from graduating as civil
engineers and building
things," replied the professor.

To Catfish

Thank YOU WT!

While perusing my e-mail the other day I came upon a very heartening letter from one of my favorite bloggers.

It seems that she had noticed that I had "borrowed" her little teddy bear sign for acknowledgement of sources. She could have been justifiably angry and demand that I cease and desist from stealing her art, but she didn't.

In fact, she redesigned it to fit in better with my site's background color. If THAT isn't a sign of true class, I don't know what is. It's only right that I use it for the first time in acknowledgement of her generosity;

THANK YOU, WILD THING

Rant Class 101

If you ever want to learn how to write a really great rant, read this example by Sir Bangor, Paladin of the Rott. Empire.

I wholeheartedly concur with his opinion of the "ROP" and what it's true nature actually is.

You giving lessons in constructing a rant anytime soon, Sir Bangor? I'd be the first to sign up for that course!

Statistics of note

Doctors:

A) The number of doctors in the US is 700,000

B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000

C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%

Statistics courtesy of the US Dept. of Health & Human Services

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guns:

A) The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000
(yes that's 80 million!)

B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year,
all age groups is 1,500.

C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

FACT:

NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS A DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We should ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

Yowsa! Great Cuffs!

NOW I remember why I liked being stationed in Germany, and wanted to become a cop! (NOT work safe)

Thanks for the mammries Catfish!

Tell ya what guys, send me your e-mail addy and I'll forward the link from it's original source; seems that my template won't accept PPP's in html protocall.

Do YOU Remember ?

Catfish sent me this test for us old farts...I'm proud to say I got 100% correct.

See how YOU do:

This is a test for us, the old kids!

The answers are printed below the fold, but don't you cheat.

READY?????

Here we go!

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset,
thegrateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably,
someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind.

What did he leave behind?____________

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all
watched them on The __________________ Show.

03. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

04. "The story you are about to see if true. The names have been
changed___________________."

05. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced"
under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the
"_____________."

07. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best _______________."
Bonus point if you remember the name/type of the character that said it.

08. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared
this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was_________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red
always ended his television show by saying, "Good
Night,and"_______________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning
their____________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in
the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________
& _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music
died." This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The
Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic
ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ________________

ANSWERS:

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.

02. The Ed Sullivan Show

03. On Route 66

04. To protect the innocent.

05. The Lion sleeps tonight

06. The limbo

07. Chocolate Bounus: It was a puppet dog named Farfel

08. Louis Armstrong

09. The Timex watch

10. Freddy, The Freeloader, and "Good Night, and may God Bless."

11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.)

12. Beetle or Bug

13. Buddy Holly

14. Sputnik

15. Hoola-hoop

Send this to your "seasoned" friends. It will drive them crazy! And,
keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes!

LSM: This is what you miss: True Heroes

I've written before about how our LSM has really seemed to be an arm of propaganda for the enemy in Iraq. They are quick to show body bags of our troops, and bemoan civilian causelties...but when was the last time you've heard of anything that shows the true heroism our guys display?

Bob Lonsberryhas written a great summery of just one such HERO, and it's been put on the WWW by Mary Jones on it's own page.

Put it in your favorites, and whenever you get depressed by the seemingly endless reporting of "quagmire" and "failure", go bact to it and know that that is not the real story.

Two Women, Two Paths

Posts like THIS ONE are the reason Baldilocks is a daily read for me.

She exquisitly compares and contrasts the paths that two women take under the same general conditions, and does it in such a manner that it cuts to the bone with no hyperboly needed.

Wish she could teach me to write like that...

PAAR-TaY!

I went to a really wild party last night, and now I can cross off one of the "things to do before I die" list. I bought a slave.

Before you get the wrong idea, it was a charity slave auction to help raise some funds for the Damien Center, a local information clearing house/support center for those afflicted with AIDS and some other socially unacceptable diseases.

The Damien Cemter was most helpful in providing information on treatment options and support to my brother when he was first diagosed over 20 years ago, and I was glad to have an opportunity to be able to give back to them just a little for that.

Slave K was most delightful, she made sure I didn't run too low on my adult beverage of choice and was quite delicious to peruse as we talked as well.
I did feel something of an idiot , it's strange to meet someone in such a circumstance as that, and being new to the public scene, didn't really know the rules and boundries, but I had a great experience nonetheless.

I think that "White Chocolate" would have been quite at home with this group. I had a vision of her leading her slave around on his knees with her leash, using a quirt when he wasn't quite fast enough to go get her a fresh top-off of her Rum.

I was content to just sit and talk with K. Those fishnet stockings....WHEW!

I gave K my cell number, hopes she calls sometime, in the hopes of exploring some things a little furthur..; if not, the money went for a great cause, and I'm content with the time we had. Can't wait for the next party.

State of the Union

Kiril of Sneakeasy's Joint made his own State of the Union speech, and I think it's probably better than what President Bush will deliver...

If he ever threw his hat in the ring, I think I'd see if he needed any campaign help. He sure has the right ideas, in my view.